Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5756 of 6371
mexico would help America with the war in Iraq, if only they could hitch a ride
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07-20-2010 14:28
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he who sleeps on the floor will never fall off the bed
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07-20-2010 14:24
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The first guy to blow a vuvuzela at an NFL game will be getting his a$$ kicked.
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07-20-2010 14:23 by jdpower
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does every dollar store smell weired and stuffy or its just me?
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07-20-2010 14:22
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my girlfriend called me a useless druggie today. I almost fell off my unicorn.
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07-20-2010 14:19
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you know your old when you teabag the toilet water.
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07-20-2010 14:13
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this salad would really benefit from more bacon and less of this green stuff.
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07-20-2010 14:02
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women are the only people I know who can go out broke and come home drunk.
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07-20-2010 13:57
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After a some thought, I am thinking I would LOVE to hear a phone taped conversation between Rod Blagojevich and Mel Gibson!
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07-20-2010 13:17 by Gr`Apes
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with out ME, you're just AWESO
You're either NEXUS or you're against us!
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07-20-2010 12:17
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A great way to start my day, I got a speeding ticket on my way to work & got written up for getting late...
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07-20-2010 10:56 by @Steady
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I want to be a bird. Not because I want the feeling of flight, but because I want to poop on people.
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07-20-2010 10:46
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I feel stupid when I write the word banana. Its like, how many na's are on this thing? ‘Cause I'm like ‘Bana … keep going. Bananana … damn.
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07-20-2010 10:43
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AD for PAPER DELIVERY PERSON: Must like early mornings, must own beater car/truck with squealing breaks and NO muffler or sound supression what so ever!! Ability to drive with one knee a plus!!
Typical I buy 1 night stand from eBay & all I got was a bedside table...no dout they will be getting negative feedback!!!
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07-20-2010 09:18 by Bruce
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We have so much in common. You want to travel . . . I want you to go . . .
Facebook-stalking my future ex-girlfriend.
I tried, I really did. I threw my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn't care. It's not working!
Imagine how fun Pringles would be if the cans were spring-loaded.