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got a phone call reminder from the dentist about an appointment to come in for a cavity search...
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07-27-2010 10:47
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Took a nap today... Fell asleep watching golf and woke up and softball was on. That might explain the dream with the lesbians.
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07-27-2010 10:25 by
Michael
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"Now if I could just figure out something to do with my hands, I'd be set!" - Every white guy while dancing, ever.
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07-27-2010 09:28 by
DRAGON-KING
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I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
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07-27-2010 04:44 by
Aaron
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Sometimes I wish I was a bird, so that when times got tough I could just fly over certain people and sh*t on their heads!
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07-27-2010 04:30 by
roN
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Finally returning your knife. Just got it out of my back.
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07-27-2010 04:28 by
Aaron
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Falling in love is like getting drunk. you wake up with a horrible hangover, swearing that you'll never drink again ;-)*
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07-27-2010 04:11 by
roN
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I wish my lawn was goth so it would cut itself.
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07-27-2010 03:20
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sometimes I wish my clothes were suicidal so they would hang themselves.
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07-27-2010 03:18
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ending every sentence with "I'm Batman" instantly makes everything you say sound bad ass."
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07-27-2010 01:59
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Dreams of moving to India or Pakistan.....and becoming a Taxi driver
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07-27-2010 01:54
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PMS + GPS = Crazy biotch that WILL find you.
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07-27-2010 01:49 by
@truebeachbabe
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thinks it's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
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07-27-2010 01:24
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while at a local Chinese restaurant I noticed a suggestion box and I wrote, "Free Tibet"
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07-27-2010 01:18
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"Don't buy condoms at BP gas stations. They may burst and result in a leak..."
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07-27-2010 01:06 by
sean
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needs to clean my house....is there an app for that?
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07-27-2010 00:29 by
robs0776
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In the past, people got fired putting that they hate their job on facebook. well I HATE MY JOB! I HATE MY JOB! --hope this works for me.
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07-27-2010 00:27 by
geez
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Unwritten Rule of the Day: Don't make eye contact while eating a banana...
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07-27-2010 00:25 by
geez
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Mr, T is opening a vegetarian restaurant. It's called "I pity the tofu".
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07-26-2010 23:51
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Rush Limbaugh is the new spokesman for preparation "H". There is no follow up needed.
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07-26-2010 23:40
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