Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon share love not herpes
←Rate | 12-01-2009 09:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can tell that this is a rough situation for Tiger Woods and that it has him really tee'd off. I hope he gets a grip soon and irons everything out.
←Rate | 12-01-2009 09:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hell hath no fury like a women with a nine iron.
←Rate | 12-01-2009 09:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The best person to get directions from is a 1 legged man...he knows the fastest and quickest way to get anywhere.
←Rate | 12-01-2009 06:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world
←Rate | 12-01-2009 01:37 by paul b Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tiger Woods is officially black. His wife busted out his car windows with a golf club @ 3 am , & he clammed up when questioned by the police. Welcome back Tiger
←Rate | 12-01-2009 01:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon this message changes to Spanish as soon as you look away.
←Rate | 12-01-2009 01:28 by Daniel Heck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Emo is to music, what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
←Rate | 12-01-2009 00:39 by emosRgay Comments (0)  

   messageicon Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 23:56 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks while you are back there stabbing me in the back you can also kiss my ass!!
←Rate | 11-30-2009 23:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon used to hate going to the gynocologist. But now he's old and his fingers shake a little....
←Rate | 11-30-2009 23:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon X was here but now she's gone. She left her name to carry on. Those who knew her knew her well. Those who didn't can go to hell.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 23:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women can fake an orgasm. Men can fake a whole relationship.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 23:50 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women don't hit harder. We hit lower.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 23:43 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering when are guys gonna stop wearing their sisters faggety skinny jeans and wearing their hair in feminine haircuts?
←Rate | 11-30-2009 23:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon saving his breath, I need it to blow up my date
←Rate | 11-30-2009 23:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon farts with the sole purpose of making you smell better
←Rate | 11-30-2009 23:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ... "No Prince Charming Riding Up On a White Horse Anymore", Girls are Done With All Those Pointless Fairy Tales. Now It's Time to Wait For Some Real MEN .... as Jacob The Werewolf and Edward The Vampire, hahah !!!
←Rate | 11-30-2009 23:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Procrastination is like masturbation...if feels good while you're doing it but in the end you only f*cked yourself
←Rate | 11-30-2009 20:17 by Pineapple Comments (0)  

   messageicon Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? I bet hes not laughing out loud
←Rate | 11-30-2009 20:07 by kristi r. Comments (0)  

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