Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon just stole this status from someone who stole it from someone else !!
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:34 by BunnyGuts Comments (0)  

   messageicon a pessimist is an experienced optimist.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:27 by BunnyGuts Comments (0)  

   messageicon gonna write something funny but I cracked under pressure
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks red meat isn't bad for you, green furry meat is!
←Rate | 10-16-2009 10:25 by BunnyGuts Comments (0)  

   messageicon Precision. Concentration. Patience. Fearlessness. Four skills I possess while shaving my nuts that I wish I could apply to other aspects of my life.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 09:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon out back building a big helium balloon... Wanna go for a ride?
←Rate | 10-16-2009 09:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon out like the Red Sox! good night!
←Rate | 10-16-2009 07:49 by Ashden Ras Comments (0)  

   messageicon just because you have one doesnt mean you have to act like one
←Rate | 10-16-2009 05:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon as cool as a winter breeze over a cucumber garden.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 03:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon a goal without a plan is just a wish.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 00:59 by mommy22699 Comments (0)  

   messageicon true friends stab you in the front.
←Rate | 10-16-2009 00:58 by mommy22699 Comments (0)  

   messageicon transferred organic stickers from the apples & put them on the Oreo packages in the grocery store to make them healthier. They're on me. Enjoy!
←Rate | 10-16-2009 00:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon run out of pictures to colour in, in my colouring in book... I guess that is enough work for a Friday...
←Rate | 10-16-2009 00:06 by gavdun Comments (0)  

   messageicon just realized if you take a glow stick and tie a piece of dental floss on the end , it looks like a radioactive tampon! Or what my ex girlfriend's might look like now!
←Rate | 10-15-2009 23:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon gonna party like it's 1929.
←Rate | 10-15-2009 22:59 by Me Comments (0)  

   messageicon When someone is waiting for you to leave so they can take your parking spot: 1) Pretent to turn key. 2) Exit car. 3) Open hood and look frustrated.
←Rate | 10-15-2009 22:35 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon cant believe its not butter
←Rate | 10-15-2009 21:35 by manoftroy Comments (0)  

   messageicon suddenly has an urge to go for a balloon ride over Colorado.
←Rate | 10-15-2009 20:42 by mark1965 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What have a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken got in common, By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have is a Hot Stinky Box to throw your bone in.
←Rate | 10-15-2009 19:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship!
←Rate | 10-15-2009 18:35 Comments (0)  

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