Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon wonders if Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
←Rate | 10-19-2009 02:36 by mommy22699 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my husband said he wanted me to tease him, so I said "Alright, fatty." I guess that's not what he meant. :(
←Rate | 10-19-2009 02:30 by mommy22699 Comments (0)  


   messageicon spooning with the cat tonight.
←Rate | 10-19-2009 01:41 by toddofwar Comments (0)  


   messageicon keeping his hands clapping and his pecker in his pants...
←Rate | 10-18-2009 18:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶*´¨`* That's me granting you a wish. Simply comment your wish below and poof...you got it! LOL....
←Rate | 10-18-2009 17:30 by mommy22699 Comments (0)  


   messageicon insists that EL Cucuy lives in her closet!
←Rate | 10-18-2009 17:22 by mommy22699 Comments (0)  


   messageicon IF SOMEBODY SENDS ME ONE MORE FARMVILLE INVITE THEN I WILL KILL YOU'RE ANIMALS AND SET FIRE TO YOU'RE CROPS!!!!!!!!!
←Rate | 10-18-2009 17:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS - Obama just won an Oscar for watching a movie!
←Rate | 10-18-2009 16:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"
←Rate | 10-18-2009 15:12 by harry hocking Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty."
←Rate | 10-18-2009 15:07 by harry hocking Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why people think bartenders care about your misrable life. We dont! Now leave some cash and be on your way!
←Rate | 10-18-2009 14:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 's dad asked him for a balloon ride, but he said "No, I don't wanna be a hoax"
←Rate | 10-18-2009 14:16 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks people should stop dreaming about Happily Ever After and be Happy Just Now. Forever ~ ✿ ♬ ☮
←Rate | 10-18-2009 13:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some days I'm not sure whether I am a Catholic or an angry Protestant!
←Rate | 10-18-2009 13:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Synonym - a word one uses when you can't spell the other one!
←Rate | 10-18-2009 13:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dr, Seuss is my favorite rapper! Cat - Hat....sheer genius!
←Rate | 10-18-2009 13:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon refuses to vacuum anymore until they make a ride-on
←Rate | 10-18-2009 13:16 by bunnyguts Comments (0)  


   messageicon a four time olympic gold medal winner, and a compulsive liar
←Rate | 10-18-2009 13:15 by Jacob Comments (0)  


   messageicon walking sideways and thinking..... I should have had a V8
←Rate | 10-18-2009 13:09 by bunnyguts Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking news - snow white has been thrown out of Disneyland after sitting on Pinocchio's face singing "tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies"
←Rate | 10-18-2009 13:08 Comments (0)  


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