Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I think Kayne West sould make an appearance on the Jay Leno Show and be like... "I'll let you get back to your show in a minute I just wanna say Conan O'brien has a much better show"
←Rate | 01-15-2010 07:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon who said that men can't multitask. I can talk and listen to myself at the same time.
←Rate | 01-15-2010 07:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks if in this day and age Mary had a little lamb, the doctor would go, "Damn! another artificial insemination gone wrong, SOMEONE KEEP THE ANIMAL SPECIMENS IN ANOTHER FREEZER"!!!!
←Rate | 01-15-2010 07:20 by Alihussein Tarwadi Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are two rules for success: #1. Don't tell all you know.
←Rate | 01-15-2010 07:10 by Julius Andres Comments (0)  

   messageicon Please please God, will you still love me if I don't forward the annoying chain e-mail I got to 25 of my friends?
←Rate | 01-15-2010 04:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon knows that your girlfriend is not taking piano classes on sundays
←Rate | 01-15-2010 04:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon just got the weather report, and yes, it is snowing in Hell right now, with patches of ice forming. Is that arrogant, entitled, snobby, noble, self-righteous, arrogant attitude back firing on you much, Coakley?
←Rate | 01-15-2010 03:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon why is it that every year during the ANNUAL solar eclipse comes it is always once in a MILLENIUM
←Rate | 01-15-2010 02:37 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon well I rather tell the truth that draws a tear than a lie that draws a smile
←Rate | 01-15-2010 01:57 by juan nunez....exit9 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
←Rate | 01-15-2010 01:28 by roonster Comments (0)  

   messageicon just enrolled in Lost University
←Rate | 01-15-2010 01:15 by Scott Black Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering why they keep midget porn on the top shelf?
←Rate | 01-15-2010 00:45 by tacoca Comments (0)  

   messageicon just stole the lint outta your dryer to create a snuggie
←Rate | 01-15-2010 00:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Im Not The Girl Ur Mother Warned you About,,, Her Imagination Was Never This Good ;)
←Rate | 01-14-2010 23:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have had many friends posting random thoughts. So here I go. If you are in a canoe flying over the grand canyon and a tire falls off how many pancakes does it take to fix a dog house orange elephants dont like ice cream.. Just a thought. :)
←Rate | 01-14-2010 21:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
←Rate | 01-14-2010 20:32 by Nandika Comments (0)  

   messageicon has just heard that many stars have been approached to pledge money and support to the victims of the Haiti Earthquake. However, rumours that Will Smith is to re-release`Boom Shake The Room` in aid of the victims have not been confirmed.
←Rate | 01-14-2010 19:56 by SuffolkSteve Comments (0)  

   messageicon gets a kick out of "bobble-head" Obama. Kinda moves his head in a figure eight like Stevie Wonder
←Rate | 01-14-2010 19:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon sometimes I feel like a fire hydrant staring at a pack of dogs.
←Rate | 01-14-2010 19:16 by Tyler Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say that if life throws you lemons, throw them back or make lemonade. But them b*stards never said anything about if life kicks you in the balls. Yeah, there's no recovery from that one!
←Rate | 01-14-2010 18:23 by DJ_Twiztid Comments (0)  

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