Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon wonders if people in the porn industry are ever "In the mood"?
←Rate | 02-13-2010 12:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A text from my mate : "I'm guaranteed to shag the missus up the bum this weekend. She's dyslexic and think's it's Vaseline's Day."
←Rate | 02-13-2010 11:36 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just booked a table for me and the other half for tomorrow - f****** hope she's good at snooker lol?!!!!
←Rate | 02-13-2010 10:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Uh oh! You ever send a naughty text to the wrong person on accident? Ooops! My mom is gonna be soooo shocked when she reads that one. That was some of my best work too!
←Rate | 02-13-2010 09:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex-wife seems to think she is a female version of Nostradamus. Before the divorce she predicted that I was going to pay for it, that I would never find love again, and that my world as I know it was going to end... a year and half later I'm a belliever
←Rate | 02-13-2010 08:40 by jack_hansen@msn.com Comments (0)  


   messageicon WHEN WE WERE KIDS, THE ICE CREAM MAN USE TO GO DOWN THE STREET RINGING THE BELL. WELL, WHEN THE HELL IS SOMEONE GOING TO GET THE MORNING "COFFE MAN" TRUCK DOWN MY STREET??? THEN IT WOULD BE NICE AROUND 5 IN THE AFTERNOON FOR THE "VODKA" TRUCK...DING DA DI
←Rate | 02-13-2010 07:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders how we are so concerned with automobile safety (airbags, crumple zones, antilock brakes), yet some will jump on an open sled from the 1870's and go 90 mph down a channel without a second thought!
←Rate | 02-13-2010 07:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon England's oldest postman retired today after 40 years in the service. Friends and family lined up to wish him good luck in his retirement. He told them to go to the next window.
←Rate | 02-13-2010 04:29 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon staring at you...yes, you....the one reading this status....yeahh..hey there mistah mistah. ^-^
←Rate | 02-13-2010 03:16 by Jordan Rice xD Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking if they didnt Screw the fifth flame, the Olympic would be more interesting :D
←Rate | 02-13-2010 00:27 by Khaste shor Comments (0)  


   messageicon - Rumor has it that Terrance and Phillip will be lighting the Olympic Flame tonight in Vancouver.
←Rate | 02-12-2010 23:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks the Winter Olympics would be a lot more interesting if they gave the spectators shotguns and told them to shoot at the skiers! There'd be more speed records that's for darn sure.
←Rate | 02-12-2010 23:27 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
←Rate | 02-12-2010 22:14 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon sees that Toyota Prius are sponsoring the Georgian Luge Team
←Rate | 02-12-2010 22:14 by groggsie Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if that Luge sled was designed by Toyota.
←Rate | 02-12-2010 21:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a voice in his head. I ask it yes and no questions, and it answers
←Rate | 02-12-2010 21:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon sympathesizing with those who absolutely hate to waste SO much of their time by NOT placing a new roll of toilet paper onto the holder for the next person. She understands the stress one must go through in order to avoid this strenuous task!
←Rate | 02-12-2010 19:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Either you're in or you're out! There's no in-between. . . unless you are doing the Hokie Pokie
←Rate | 02-12-2010 18:17 by CoB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Captin Obvious and general stupidty Are in the same army
←Rate | 02-12-2010 17:05 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does not play well with other's
←Rate | 02-12-2010 16:12 by \"LiL 5150\" Comments (0)  




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