Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon on double secret probation through the end of the year!
←Rate | 12-30-2009 23:03 by Name Mikeor @twittername Comments (0)  

   messageicon I understand Rush has lost a lot of weight recently...Crystal Meth is amazing!
←Rate | 12-30-2009 22:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Has used many of these's [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] to help women further their education..or say that was what I was told at the time...
←Rate | 12-30-2009 22:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I got an idea for MTV....Film The Real world at my house....The real world, where your wallet is empty and your mailbox if full of bills!
←Rate | 12-30-2009 20:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon making his own underwear bomb. Anyone know how to sew?
←Rate | 12-30-2009 20:11 by Andrew Comments (0)  

   messageicon doing a crossword puzzle. Need a 7 letter word that may or may not contain the number 6
←Rate | 12-30-2009 20:06 Comments (1)  

   messageicon May your troubles last as long as your New Years Resolutions!
←Rate | 12-30-2009 19:52 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon (_|_) (_/_) (_\_) doin the Happy Dance!!
←Rate | 12-30-2009 17:18 by raeanne Comments (0)  

   messageicon 's motto for 2010: You got a problem with me, solve it, can't stand me, sit down, think i'm trippin, tie my shoe, can't face me, then turn the f$%# around!!
←Rate | 12-30-2009 17:11 by raeanne Comments (0)  

   messageicon Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late and see the New Years in. Middle age is when you're forced to.
←Rate | 12-30-2009 16:37 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon has a new drinking game. Everytime a politician whines and/or blames the other party for something, take a shot.. Because politicains are a bunch of overgrown can-do-no-wrong crybabies with major control issues.. . I htihnk I tis a afgoodo gfame
←Rate | 12-30-2009 15:56 by Yaji Comments (0)  

   messageicon changed his/her relationship status to "None of you damn business"
←Rate | 12-30-2009 15:45 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Since saying "Happy New Year" doesn't seem to give people much luck, she's going to say "Have a bad New Year" and turn thier luck around!
←Rate | 12-30-2009 15:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon trying to think of a new year's resolution that she will remember for the whole year
←Rate | 12-30-2009 14:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon HDTV: where the channels are still crap..but a much clearer and colorful crap.
←Rate | 12-30-2009 14:49 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon I sleep like a baby every night. I wake up every three or four hours
←Rate | 12-30-2009 14:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon blew all his christmas money on hookers and cocaine.....
←Rate | 12-30-2009 14:45 by jonezn Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say bears are attracted to women on thier menstral cycle. Brave bears! Women don't have anything to worry about though because I think a 800 pound bear against a 100 pound women with cramps, it's pretty much a even fight don't ya think? In fact my mo
←Rate | 12-30-2009 13:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Lady Gaga is the reason why waldo is hiding.
←Rate | 12-30-2009 13:49 by Karencita (partial credit to anonymous post about the waldo) Comments (0)  

   messageicon A gas station is a place where you sometimes fill the car, but more often drain the kids
←Rate | 12-30-2009 13:42 by mullerman Comments (0)  

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