Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon thought of the day .....if I were a dog and you were a flower I would lift up my leg and give you a shower ! lol
←Rate | 03-05-2010 00:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon nothing like a bowl of choclate icecream to soothe a sore throat
←Rate | 03-05-2010 00:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Fending off spidermonkeys with a stick
←Rate | 03-04-2010 23:58 by Xtravagent Comments (0)  

   messageicon Be the fruit loop in the cherrios of lives
←Rate | 03-04-2010 23:56 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon A lion would never cheat on his wife, but a tiger wood.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 23:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon was thinking about starting a facebook addiction group, but wouldn't that be like starting an alcoholics annonymous at a bar?
←Rate | 03-04-2010 22:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's amazing how many beautiful women walk into your life the week before you get married.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 22:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I made my man an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he...
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:59 by Sando Comments (1)  

   messageicon Have you ever watched birds and wondered: "If I could fly who would I crap on first?"
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:42 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Perforation is a rip-off!
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Smith & Wesson - The first point-and-click interface?
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon accidentally swallowed some food colouring yesterday. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders... How do crazy people go through the forest?They take the psycho path.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A girl is always RIGHT....Just sometimes confused, misinformed, rude, stubborn, senseless, unchangeable, and even downright stupid but not WRONG.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon had breakfast in bed. Two rolls and a turnover.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon One good turn... gets all the blankets.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:30 Comments (1)  

   messageicon if you want to kill a circus act, you've got to go for the juggler.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Income tax-time is when you test your powers of deduction.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon performed Plastic Surgery today: I was cutting up all your credit cards.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:22 Comments (0)  

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