Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon thinks you should know that you don't HAVE to be crazy to be my friend...but it helps!!
←Rate | 05-24-2009 18:16 by shelbs Comments (0)  

   messageicon now friends with Mili Vanilli
←Rate | 05-24-2009 03:04 by The.Mrs Comments (0)  

   messageicon versatile..........put him in any position and he will always perform
←Rate | 05-24-2009 00:05 by matt Comments (0)  

   messageicon just saved alot of money on his car insurance by threatening his agent with a golf club!
←Rate | 05-22-2009 19:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You're not invited to the party in my pants because you don't know the difference between your and you're.
←Rate | 05-22-2009 18:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon : Aspire to Inspire before you Expire!
←Rate | 05-22-2009 13:14 by Kasun D Comments (0)  

   messageicon just Googled his Twitter all over your Facebook
←Rate | 05-22-2009 08:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon will write you a love song unlike that Sara Bareilles b**ch
←Rate | 05-21-2009 09:40 by matt Comments (0)  

   messageicon stuck in the moment - well it is actually more like wedged. I think I may need an advanced escape maneuver. So glad I have that Special Forces training to fall back on in these situations.....
←Rate | 05-21-2009 06:49 by MaryEllen Comments (0)  

   messageicon I want a new Drug. One that won't hurt my head. One that won't make my mouth too dry. Or make my eyes too red
←Rate | 05-21-2009 03:42 by Jenny ( Huey Lewis) Comments (0)  

   messageicon News update! "Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery!"
←Rate | 05-21-2009 03:18 by JonathanMC Comments (0)  

   messageicon a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect
←Rate | 05-20-2009 16:47 by Robert Bell Comments (0)  

   messageicon kissed a girl, and he liked it...and blames Katy Perry for his imprisonment. She didn't say anything about asking permission.
←Rate | 05-20-2009 14:52 by Pissed Off Comments (0)  

   messageicon contributing to global warming by breathing as he rides his bike to school...some conservationist!
←Rate | 05-20-2009 13:53 by JRazz Comments (0)  

   messageicon intended for mature audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.
←Rate | 05-20-2009 12:49 by Manny Comments (0)  

   messageicon calculating pi but can't seem to make it past sugar cream
←Rate | 05-20-2009 08:34 by Dragon-King Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders how skinny he would be if he had to pedal to keep the computer on.
←Rate | 05-20-2009 08:33 by Dragon-King Comments (0)  

   messageicon running with scissors and playing with matches...
←Rate | 05-20-2009 00:32 by Icy Comments (0)  

   messageicon increasing his carbon footprint so that it is visible from space.
←Rate | 05-19-2009 23:21 by Charlie C Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes I go down to the Home Depot and pick up day laborers in my truck just to have people to drink with. Hop in, amigos. It's Miller time.
←Rate | 05-19-2009 22:48 Comments (0)  

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