Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon URGENT! FACEBOOK VIRUS ALERT! An email recently went out to women asking them to post the color of their bra. THIS IS A VIRUS. To fix it, you must remove your bra, then go to Setting>Enable Webcam> Record Movie. Please repost it to your status!!!
←Rate | 01-08-2010 13:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ok the sneakers are on, the treadmill is unfolded but I am having a hard time to put the the two togeather!!!!
←Rate | 01-08-2010 12:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Patience is the ability to let your light shine after your fuse has blown
←Rate | 01-08-2010 11:36 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick-skinned, short-sighted and always ready to charge.
←Rate | 01-08-2010 11:30 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think I need to start doing pullups to get more of the ladies attention. Pull up in a Benz, Pull up in a Vette, Pull up in a Beamer....
←Rate | 01-08-2010 10:26 by Vito Comments (0)  

   messageicon could care less about the color, as long as it is on my floor with the rest of your clothes.
←Rate | 01-08-2010 09:57 by Jason Ellis Comments (0)  

   messageicon ladies... dont forget about cervical cancer awareness day today.
←Rate | 01-08-2010 08:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pump Up The Volume ιllιιllιlιllιιllιlιllιιllιlιllιιllιlιllιιllιlι
←Rate | 01-08-2010 08:03 by ThunderCunt Comments (0)  

   messageicon just because I flirt it doesn't mean I'm interested, it just means I'm awake
←Rate | 01-08-2010 07:46 by gguy Comments (0)  

   messageicon very shy. please flirt aggressively
←Rate | 01-08-2010 07:44 by gguy Comments (0)  

   messageicon at home taking care of mum after her accident..she fell in front of a man and ended up with a big bump. A bit like how I was conceived,really ..
←Rate | 01-08-2010 04:20 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex.
←Rate | 01-08-2010 02:30 by Rain Comments (0)  

   messageicon Help! My Chia Pet is sick and I'm not sure if I should bring it to the Vet or the Florist?
←Rate | 01-07-2010 23:40 by Vito Comments (0)  

   messageicon For tomorrows bra forecast, its looking mostly black with a splash of peach moving in for the afternoon. Tomorrow night, it's all leopard skin, with lows in the matching thong.
←Rate | 01-07-2010 23:28 by Jeffrey Comments (0)  

   messageicon as my part of breast cancer awareness I will be giving "free mammograms"...
←Rate | 01-07-2010 19:13 by chadwick Comments (0)  

   messageicon ..if I want to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet ,i'll put shoes on my cats!
←Rate | 01-07-2010 18:34 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon happy to learn what bra color all my female friends are wearing today! I don't belive any of you...send pics just so I know your not lying to me....
←Rate | 01-07-2010 18:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon all I know is ANY other day ask a woman what color bra they're wearing and you get a dirty look. Make it for awareness and colors are flying like the gay pride parade.
←Rate | 01-07-2010 18:09 by Steve Bartoli Comments (0)  

   messageicon Yes guys the colors are bra colors they are is for breast cancer awareness...Just tell them you give free mammograms or that NUDE is a color...HA
←Rate | 01-07-2010 17:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon hates shoving there an app for that?
←Rate | 01-07-2010 15:53 Comments (0)  

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