Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5641 of 6369
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from eating too much pi.
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08-31-2010 10:18
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When did "MUST READ" become code for "This is a total waste of time?"
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08-31-2010 09:26 by MBH
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They should change the name from "Girls Gone Wild" to "Girls Got Drunk!!!"
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08-31-2010 09:25
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Growing up, I dreamed of becoming a meteorologist. Now, I've got 3 weather apps on my phone. Living the dream people.
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08-31-2010 09:07 by MBH
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I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like P. Diddy but it wore of by the morning,
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08-31-2010 09:05 by MBH
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Who wants to do something we will regret in the morning? Anyone?
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08-31-2010 09:03 by MBH
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4 out of 5 dentists recommend me
planning a vacation to get away from people....see you guys in couple of hours, will facebook hourly to update you guys about my vacation
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08-31-2010 07:36
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I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!
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08-31-2010 03:17
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1994 is the worst year ever, Kurt Cobain died and Justin Bieber was born
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08-31-2010 03:10
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Yesterday I was 2 away from a threesome. I love college!
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08-31-2010 01:20
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You call that show "Man vs. Food", But I call it "Keeping Up With The Kardashians."
welcome to the Dark Side. Are you surprised that we don't have cookies?
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08-30-2010 22:44 by BitMaP
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Updating your status at the gym burns a lot of calories.
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08-30-2010 22:04 by Max
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Only when the last tree has died, the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realize we cannot eat money..!!
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08-30-2010 18:31 by Mallory
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I had an appointment at the sperm bank today, but I had to call up to say I couldn't come.
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08-30-2010 17:41 by jack
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Never steal. The government hates competition.
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08-30-2010 17:38 by CJ
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I wish my book of life was written in pencil There are a few pages I would like to erase.
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08-30-2010 17:37
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The hardest part about business is minding your own.
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08-30-2010 17:35 by CJ
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SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking during pregnancy can cause your baby to look like Herve Villacheze.
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08-30-2010 17:25
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