Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon wants you to think of the word "Politics". Poly means "many" and "ticks" are blood sucking creatures.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 21:02 by mullerman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do Not Disturb I I am already disturbed enough
←Rate | 01-04-2010 20:44 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon must save their Midevil babes from the evil "robot-us'es" and win the Battle of the Bands. The future of the world depends on it!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 20:26 by Bill&Ted Comments (0)  

   messageicon more confused than a chameleon in a box of Smarties.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 18:38 by Dimi3 Comments (0)  

   messageicon just pondering the fact that Jeffrey Dahmer is really the only person whose bologna really did have a first name!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 17:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ran into a flasher today, but it's so cold out he handed me a picture instead!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 17:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Lots of people know that when a bell rings, an angel gets its wings. What they don't know is every time a mousetrap goes off, an angel gets set on fire.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 16:12 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon if you're just gonna quit going to the gym in a couple weeks then please don't pack the gyms now. thanks!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 15:59 by Samir Momin Comments (0)  

   messageicon supports the health cares 10% tax addition to long as I dont have to be the one to tell the cast of Jersey Shore.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 15:20 by kristen Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...its -4 out and snow is on it's way much for this global warming they talk about...although they'll probably blame the cold on the hole in the ozone layer or cow farts...
←Rate | 01-04-2010 14:50 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon performed a chili dog with this fat chick with huge tits yesterday
←Rate | 01-04-2010 14:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Phoebe's rendition on my rusty trombone last night, was so moving, it bought a tear to my eye.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 14:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon was just Donkey Punched
←Rate | 01-04-2010 14:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon has the heat turned up to 80 (heat included in rent)
←Rate | 01-04-2010 14:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon you make me look like I need another drink
←Rate | 01-04-2010 14:20 by oO Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know it's resolution time when someone has to stop to rest on the way up the stairs TO the gym.....
←Rate | 01-04-2010 13:46 by mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon's so cold that Britney Spears made sure she was wearing underwear before she went out.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 12:09 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon The light at the end of the tunnel is still on. It's just controlled with a motion sensor to conserve enrgy!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 10:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon gonna head to the freezer to warm up a bit
←Rate | 01-04-2010 09:52 by yAJI Comments (0)  

   messageicon You need people like me so you can point your finger and say thats the bad guy.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 09:37 Comments (0)  

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