Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon wants you to think of the word "Politics". Poly means "many" and "ticks" are blood sucking creatures.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 21:02 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do Not Disturb I I am already disturbed enough
←Rate | 01-04-2010 20:44 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon must save their Midevil babes from the evil "robot-us'es" and win the Battle of the Bands. The future of the world depends on it!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 20:26 by Bill&Ted Comments (0)  


   messageicon more confused than a chameleon in a box of Smarties.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 18:38 by Dimi3 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just pondering the fact that Jeffrey Dahmer is really the only person whose bologna really did have a first name!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 17:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ran into a flasher today, but it's so cold out he handed me a picture instead!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 17:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lots of people know that when a bell rings, an angel gets its wings. What they don't know is every time a mousetrap goes off, an angel gets set on fire.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 16:12 by tomcall Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you're just gonna quit going to the gym in a couple weeks then please don't pack the gyms now. thanks!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 15:59 by Samir Momin Comments (0)  


   messageicon supports the health cares 10% tax addition to tanning.....as long as I dont have to be the one to tell the cast of Jersey Shore.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 15:20 by kristen Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...its -4 out and snow is on it's way tomorrow...so much for this global warming they talk about...although they'll probably blame the cold on the hole in the ozone layer or cow farts...
←Rate | 01-04-2010 14:50 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon performed a chili dog with this fat chick with huge tits yesterday
←Rate | 01-04-2010 14:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Phoebe's rendition on my rusty trombone last night, was so moving, it bought a tear to my eye.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon was just Donkey Punched
←Rate | 01-04-2010 14:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon has the heat turned up to 80 (heat included in rent)
←Rate | 01-04-2010 14:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon you make me look like I need another drink
←Rate | 01-04-2010 14:20 by oO Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know it's resolution time when someone has to stop to rest on the way up the stairs TO the gym.....
←Rate | 01-04-2010 13:46 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..it's so cold that Britney Spears made sure she was wearing underwear before she went out.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 12:09 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The light at the end of the tunnel is still on. It's just controlled with a motion sensor to conserve enrgy!
←Rate | 01-04-2010 10:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon gonna head to the freezer to warm up a bit
←Rate | 01-04-2010 09:52 by yAJI Comments (0)  


   messageicon You need people like me so you can point your finger and say thats the bad guy.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 09:37 Comments (0)  


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