Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5634 of 6370
What do you call a big group of lesbians? The Munch Bunch.
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09-03-2010 05:03 by KOC
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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong socks before I went for a walk.
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09-03-2010 04:33 by KOC
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I've just been dumped by my girlfriend. She found me creepy because I have a nickname for my penis. Guess now that I'm single again, I'll have to take Matters into my own hands.
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09-03-2010 04:31 by KOC
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if Facebook didn't exist, I wouldn't know how many imaginary friends I have.
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09-03-2010 03:41
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What are the chances that Hurricane Earl will make a little detour and head up north to wipe out the cast of Jersey Shore?
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09-02-2010 23:58
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it says on my sidebar on facebook.. "Many of people who like Lindsey Lohan also liked Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" Oh no, that can't be good.
Strippers are like trees. Instead of absorbing Carbon Dioxide and emitting Oxygen, they absorb Desperation and emit Hope.
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09-02-2010 19:17
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I don't know what my credit score is but I'm pretty sure I'm losing.
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09-02-2010 19:04 by Aaron
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I want to make sweet love to your face with my fist. Don't worry, I'll use protection. Wouldn't want my hand to get hurt.
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09-02-2010 18:27 by Aaron
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likes "Mad Libs" because it is (adjective).
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09-02-2010 18:09 by Kevin
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My cellphone is mixing people up (surprise this would only happen to me) So if you get a picture of my left tit..apoligies in advance!!
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09-02-2010 18:06 by ANGELA
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Puberty is gonna hit Justin Bieber harder, than Chris Brown hit Rhianna!!
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09-02-2010 17:58 by ANGELA
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since football season is officially here, I will celebrate by tackling the sh*t out of stupid people that piss me off!
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09-02-2010 16:57
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Sometimes finding my car keys is harder than finding a proper sport or a slim person in America
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09-02-2010 16:39
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having a hard time groing his sunflower, maby I should'nt have eaten the insides
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09-02-2010 15:23
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Todays date? 90210!...I'm off to the Peach Pit!
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09-02-2010 14:54
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I'm not sure what's so "outstanding" about this bill... It seems pretty ordinary to me.
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09-02-2010 14:31
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Happy 90210
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09-02-2010 14:26 by Zack
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Women ask for advice on what to wear and then end up wearing the exact opposite.. that's why I think Snow Pants and Leather Jackets are sexy as hell on them."
If I owned a charter fishing boat, and I assigned one of the crew to bait customer's fishing poles, would he be called "The Master Baiter?".
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09-02-2010 13:31
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