Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5628 of 6371
OMG, you just lied and your pants really are on fire.
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09-06-2010 11:25
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Should I pick you up for breakfast? or just roll over and kiss you good morning?
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09-06-2010 10:38
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wonders what the guy who found out what milk was, was doing to the cow.
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09-06-2010 10:27
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wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac
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09-06-2010 08:45
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thinking they need to rename 'Dancing with the Stars' to 'Dancing with the National Enquirer.'
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09-06-2010 08:40 by markf
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Did you ever actually think about what you did, while sitting in the corner as a kid? I was planning my revenge for the punishment!
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09-06-2010 08:12
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I would like to wish a happy Labor Day to all the mother out there.
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09-06-2010 08:10
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Labor Day was canceled because too many people couldn't remember what it was like to have a job :)
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09-06-2010 08:04
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I am strong coz I have been weak, I am beautiful coz I know my flaws, I am a lover coz I am a fighter, I am fearless coz I have been afraid. I am wise coz I have been foolish & I can laugh coz I have also known sadnes, I know my past yet I can c my future
It's pretty hard not to scratch when you're playing pocket pool.
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09-06-2010 06:31 by Leeferd
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you know your getting old when respond to you with, "Really! At your age?!?"
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09-06-2010 02:39
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Dear chicken, please cook yourself and jump into my mouth. thank you
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09-06-2010 01:14 by Zack
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Some images contained herein may not be appropriate for all ages. Viewer discretion advised.
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09-06-2010 01:04
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Why did the pirate go to the Apple store?To buy an iPatch!
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09-06-2010 00:18
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wondering, where in the world is Carmen San Diego? I'm worried!
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09-05-2010 23:40
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was doing 75 MPH in his rented diesel Chevette when I was pulled over by a Chip. Was I speeding? I asked. Not really, I just wanted to know how you got it going that fast. FML
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09-05-2010 23:26
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i love it when some little 8 year-old is cursing and yelling at me on call of duty and then his mom is in the backgorund telling him to go to bed.
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09-05-2010 23:25
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laughing at the people on ugliesttattoos.com
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09-05-2010 23:17
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Why is the Devil's number 666? Shouldn't it be like 911?
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09-05-2010 23:14
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I returned an online purchase and the form said for your security, please use Fedex, UPS, USPS, DHL or Parcel Post. Exactly what other options do they think I'm considering? Horse? Catapult? Helicopter drop? Santa?
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09-05-2010 20:25
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