Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Stevie Wonder's Twitter update was hilarious. it said," ahdshewsd€yts".
I will never be led to believe there is someone who won't betray you under any circumstance. Learning otherwise is a lesson learned with great pains.
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10-17-2010 19:34
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The best things in life are free...for now, wait until the government finds a way to tax you on that!
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10-17-2010 19:09
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Goldilocks was an illegal alien
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10-17-2010 18:59
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kids learn from fairy tales. like goldilocks and 3 bears teaches us that you can sneak into people's place, eat their food, break their furnituer and sleep in their beds as long as you can run fast and you are blond!
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10-17-2010 18:34
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saying, i'm not moody, just don't want to talk to you every wed and fri..
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10-17-2010 16:03 by j\'monx
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silence is golden, but duct tape is silver
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10-17-2010 16:03
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so drunk , I thought my toothpaste was astronaut food....
I raised an eyebrow once. He's an adult now, and he never calls or visits.
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10-17-2010 15:25 by Aaron
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It's always awkward when you run into your ex with a car.
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10-17-2010 15:23 by Aaron
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The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
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10-17-2010 15:23 by Aaron
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: Snowwhite sleeps with 7 men, Tarzan is half naked, Cinderella comes home after midnight, Pinocchio always lies, Aladin is the king of thieves, Batman drives 200 mph, That's what they teach us as kids... no wonder we f*ck up sometimes....
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10-17-2010 15:22
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wondering why Texas is flying it's flag all over the country of Chili?
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10-17-2010 15:00
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I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel...Just hopeing it's my friends with a 2 million watt spotlight and not a train....
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10-17-2010 14:52 by Jeff
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's son has been looking for his Nintendo DS for the last month.Last night we found it in the bushes in front of the house.Kids: you can't live with 'em, you can't beat them over the head with their neglected portable gaming systems to teach them a lesson.
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10-17-2010 14:26
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illegal touching, number 7 Offense.
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10-17-2010 14:23 by The Fred
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Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
I'm Dyslexic when I hate it
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10-17-2010 12:19
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Oh sh*t, my computer uses U.S. English. I wanted to 'save' the document but accidentally blew it up.
We childproofed our homes but they are still getting in.