Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5502 of 6370
I just saved a lot of money by not paying my car insurance bill.
←Rate |
10-19-2010 14:53
Comments (0)
even if your sporting a tic tac for a dck....you can still freshen their breath!
←Rate |
10-19-2010 14:47 by kimdp1969
Comments (0)
Could I borrow your face for Halloween?
←Rate |
10-19-2010 14:28 by Thrasher
Comments (0)
"Find your ideal partner on Facebook!" No thanks, I can safely say that one quality I am not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm.
♫♪ It's a quarter after one; I'm a little drunk and I need you now....♪♫ Sounds just a tad better than it's 1:15, I'm Trashed & Horny let's get busy...
←Rate |
10-19-2010 13:35 by Donna
Comments (0)
Thinking that they made the turtoise and the hare book to make fat people feel good about theirselves!
←Rate |
10-19-2010 13:17
Comments (0)
I feel like LIFESAVERS candy is overstating their importance...But just to be on the safe side I'm gonna go get some! If I'm found dead,I would like them to be sued for false advertising.
←Rate |
10-19-2010 13:07 by John
Comments (0)
Hey are you stalking me? I'm so tired of hot women following me around all day, it gets annoying.
It's tough to be such a sex symbol.
Hates when she's singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
←Rate |
10-19-2010 12:35
Comments (0)
Two billion years of evolution and that's what you come up with?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
the mayor of sassy town
←Rate |
10-19-2010 12:24
Comments (1)
Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it craps on your head.
i taught that if I made my self a few gay friends, they would have given me fashion tips.... instead they just fu*ked me .
←Rate |
10-19-2010 10:56
Comments (0)
if I had a dime for every time a homeless person asked me for change...ide still say no.
←Rate |
10-19-2010 10:23 by CMadd
Comments (0)
can't understand the the problem with "Don't Ask Don't Tell" - the Catholic Church has been using it for hundreds of years, and it's never been a problem
Necrophilia, puts the fun in funeral
←Rate |
10-19-2010 09:54 by Thrasher
Comments (0)
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's.......She changes it more often.
←Rate |
10-19-2010 09:34
Comments (0)
I just played FARKLE against somebody from across the World, and yet we had a mutual friend! My opponent knows Pamela Anderson too!
←Rate |
10-19-2010 08:39 by Jeff W
Comments (0)