Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5499 of 6370
Wonders why eleven isn't just onety-one...
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10-20-2010 14:16
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I wish the ATM machine would spit me out an extra 20 just one damn time!!
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10-20-2010 14:15
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Did you know that you can't hum with ur nose plugged??
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10-20-2010 14:10
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Do sheep get heavy in the rain??
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10-20-2010 14:08
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bored of poking, can we have a spank button??
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10-20-2010 13:43 by Heather25
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Remember, we're not here for a long time, we're here for a GOOD TIME!!!
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10-20-2010 13:34
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Mean people suck. Nice people swallow. Great people do BOTH. ;)
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10-20-2010 13:33 by Heather25
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The NFL should change it's name to the little girls league with all these rules. Football is a violent and physical sport, if you get hurt, it's part of the job.
It's time for attention to pay me instead.
Imagine how much fun women in burkas must have tagging each other on Facebook.
dressing up as a ball player for the NY Mets for halloween. I figure I won't need a uniform either since at this time of the year, they are all wearing street clothes now anyway
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10-20-2010 11:45
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The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
looking at her man, wondering how come he is a knight in shining armor one day and a retard wrapped in tin foil the next.....
My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.
The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of YOUR OWN sentence. that way, they never suspect you hung up on them.
When I “rage against the machine” the machine is usually a printer.
Composeurs pretend to write classical music.
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10-20-2010 10:52 by jdpower
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During Obama's appearance on Mythbusters, Glenn Beck will debut his new Fox News show, Mythspreaders.
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10-20-2010 10:50 by jdpower
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I have just painted a blue square on the garden to trick people viewing Google Earth into thinking I have a swimming pool!
It's very easy to sacrifice for a friends whats really hard is to find a friend who deserve it
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10-20-2010 09:14
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