Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5496 of 6371
thinks it would be hysterical if Brad and Angelina's daughter, Shiloh Pitt, turned out to be dyslexic.
Yea OK... Like I am the only man who ever wears feathers in his hair from time to time.
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10-22-2010 09:14
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My Doctor said I have a deficiency of vitamin C in my body. I guess Stoli Orange it's not a good source of vitamin C.
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10-22-2010 09:12
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Theres 2 types of people in this world.. People who have been bitten by the Easter Bunny and people who haven't..
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10-22-2010 08:59
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WOOHOO!!!! IT'S FRIDAY!!!!! Wait a damn minute, I'm working 7 10's, every day is a god damn Monday for me.
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10-22-2010 08:14 by Damon
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According to all the forwards I received and never re-forwarded since I've been on the net, I will die 238 times and will have bad luck for 896 years
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10-22-2010 08:00 by Smack
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Loneliness taught me evrythng in this world, Except Hw 2 4get the person who made me alone ...
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10-22-2010 02:53
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The fastest way to stop "terrorism" is to stop screwing around with other peoples countries.
c[_] <- this a cup of HTFU. drink it and get on with it
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10-22-2010 00:55
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between the soccer team that crashed in the Andes and those 33 miners, Chile has a very good record of disasters with happy endings...
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10-22-2010 00:29
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I accidentally spilled Spot Remover on my dog... now he's gone :)
Only you old school pervs will get this one: BOB GUCCIONE'S TOMBSTONE: Here Lies "Name Held Upon Request" 1930-2010
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10-22-2010 00:07
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It's better to give than to receive... especially in prison.
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10-21-2010 23:55 by en
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Laying on my TV watching the couch. I needed to switch things up a bit.
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10-21-2010 23:51 by Aaron
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There are two types of people in the world - those who have had Dinty Moore's Beef Stew and those who have not.
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10-21-2010 23:33 by jdpower
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In honor of Christine O'Donnell, I am designating November as Lack of Awareness Awareness Month.
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10-21-2010 23:32 by jdpower
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BREAKING: "Hey, Where Is Everybody?" Says Chilean Miner No. 34
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10-21-2010 23:32 by jdpower
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Some kids were dropped as a baby ... you were clearly thrown in the air, smacked by a ceiling fan, hitting the wall, and tossed out the window..
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10-21-2010 22:01 by kelsey
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If you "think" you caught me scratching my nuts, you just missed it when I said "I don't give a f*** who sees me"
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10-21-2010 20:47
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The lies....the deceit...the broken promises....These movies on Lifetime really bug me...Hey wait....My bad...It's a political commercial!!!!!