Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5439 of 6371
loves picking his nephew up from Preschool cause the single mothers are usually late and so am I :D
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11-09-2010 15:33 by L
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Today's level of difficulty is shaping up to be "Wheelie on a unicycle."
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11-09-2010 15:28 by Aaron
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I went on Dragons Den the other night and showed them my Dads old Shotgun. Peter Jones said " And whats your idea?" I replied "It's a simple Concept Peter just put all the Money in the f**king bag!"
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11-09-2010 15:02 by jay walls
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Hello Network Solutions, we have a problem.
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11-09-2010 14:59 by levon
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Some people, even in photos, just look like they'll smell.
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11-09-2010 14:31
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you know you're getting older when your back goes out more than you do
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11-09-2010 14:29 by Yaj
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My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
hates driving by people who are texting and driving. It's times like that, that I wish my Subaru came with rocket launchers
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11-09-2010 14:22
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For Sale: 24 pedigree pigeons, call 0161 123 1234 and ask for Tyrone......
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11-09-2010 14:10
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Just seen a scarecrow trying to have a wank..... Poor fucker was clutching at straws !!
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11-09-2010 14:05
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Why do paper towel dispensers in public restrooms give you just enough to keep your hands slightly damp?
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11-09-2010 13:57
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Me and a friend have been texting "LOL" back and forth for the last 10 min. Neither 1 of us have anything else to say but don't want to be the rude one not to text back!
The McRib is made of the same fat they injected in Joan Rivers lips.
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11-09-2010 12:51
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In general, girls don't like to be described as “beefy”. Even if you love beef.
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11-09-2010 12:44
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if being apathetic is wrong, then I don't care...
"Lol" is not a message worth replying to.
With the rise in social networking which we all enjoy, there is a crucial need for someone to invent and standardise a sarcasm font.
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11-09-2010 11:41
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chick, I wouldn't even poke you with Facebook
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11-09-2010 11:31 by NFP
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Keeping secrets can kill you. And let's just keep that between us.
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11-09-2010 11:19 by Aaron
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Be patient. The longer you wait for me, the sooner I will arrive.
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11-09-2010 11:17 by Aaron
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