Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5429 of 6370
wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
Global warming is like Goldilocks and the weather is like porridge.
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11-12-2010 05:14
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been bitten by a spider... and now waiting to become Spider Man...! :-)
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11-12-2010 05:05
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The only thing scarier than Christine O'Donell is the thought her being in office and in charge of the nuclear codes.
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11-12-2010 01:40
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“I was at Arby's the other day and I thought, ‘Oh sh*t, I should take someone's order.”
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11-12-2010 01:20
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off to kill plants and zombies.
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11-12-2010 01:09 by mylaross
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I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
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11-12-2010 01:03
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if nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
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11-12-2010 00:42
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I am sick of USA blaming their presidents for everything! Help yourselves people! You elected him to be your leader not as your nanny!!
Whenever I see signs that say ‘slow pedestrians' or ‘slow children playing' I can't help but picture people in helmets playing in the street.
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11-12-2010 00:12
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since Obama is trying to get rid of Guantomino bay, we will now be sending captured terrorists on Carnival Cruises
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11-12-2010 00:10
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I didnt fall for you...i tripped and fell cause your to ugly!!
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11-11-2010 23:57 by ANGELA
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When I die, I want to be buried alive.
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11-11-2010 23:53 by Aaron
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so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
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11-11-2010 23:31
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sending a text message and sitting the phone between their legs on vibrate..
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11-11-2010 23:16
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Where would the world be without music?
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11-11-2010 22:48 by @DonSixx
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helping senior Citizens...one Cougar at a time.....
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11-11-2010 22:44
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Lethal Weapon 5.
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11-11-2010 22:35
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I don't know about you but putting the Kardashian's on a credit card to promote financial responsability makes as much sense as getting a nun to be a spokes woman for a condom company.
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11-11-2010 21:29 by One
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my neighbors put their Christmas decorations up early, so I put my Easter stuff out just to one-up them.