Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5254 of 6370
Pabst got its blue ribbon in 1893 for being voted best beer. Further proving that life in 1893 sucked pretty damn hard.
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01-18-2011 17:03
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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01-18-2011 16:57
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So, you say it was a long day huh? Well I bet it was 24 hrs long just like everybody elses!
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01-18-2011 16:22
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3 main causes of war: Greed, Racism, Religion. I'll stay away from each.
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01-18-2011 16:04
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Anyone remember when MTV was "white"?
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01-18-2011 16:03 by Bill C.
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On this day thirty years ago.. Mtv still played music videos.
Because we're all so offensive and opinionated, anything about politics, religion, race, current events, and alcohol will always get the most votes and comments.
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01-18-2011 15:22 by Danmanz
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Bringing a date to a wedding is like taking a deer carcass on a hunting trip
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01-18-2011 15:03
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LIFE IS SHORT... PLAY NAKED
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01-18-2011 14:51 by SHARPIE
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I just noticed that I walked around all morning with a ball point pen in my shirt pocket WITHOUT the cap on...think I finally earned the right for my 'Thug Life' tattoo...
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01-18-2011 14:47
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has a hangover so bad that the only thing keeping him alive is the hope that he'll drop dead
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01-18-2011 14:42 by banjaxed
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how do you stop a RAVENS fan from masterbating? Paint it BLACK and GOLD he will never beat it again!
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01-18-2011 14:18
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The Green Gay Fudge Packers are going down on Sunday!
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01-18-2011 13:46 by Da Bears!
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Warning!!!! I have character defects and I am not afraid to use them!!!
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01-18-2011 13:44 by dogcop1us
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My hooptie rollin', tailpipe draggin' Heat don't work an' my girl keeps naggin'
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01-18-2011 13:33
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I wish I could be as enthusiastic about life as my dog is about the arrival of the mail man..
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01-18-2011 13:15 by timboss
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I always laugh at myself. If I didn't, everyone else would be having fun without me.
They say a computer keyboard is germier than a toilet. I'm not surprised with all the sh*t emails I get.
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01-18-2011 11:04 by AlliB513
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Facebook etiquette: Thou shall not hold a conversation under someone's status post.
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01-18-2011 10:58
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off to the printer to have my new t-shirts made. I've got, “I beat anorexia” shirts to sell to fat people and, “I beat obesity” shirts to sell to skinny people.
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01-18-2011 10:42 by Michael
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