Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5249 of 6370
The sign says "Smoke Free" That's Good.. I hate the places that charge you to smoke!!!
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01-19-2011 23:19 by Chris
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Please have the courtesy to let me go to hell in my own sweet fashion.
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01-19-2011 22:41 by Aaron
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Don't you hate it when some fat ass in a fast food drive thru orders $40 in food.
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01-19-2011 22:36
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Damn, just about got in a head on collision with some idiot who doesn't know how to text and drive nearly as well as I do.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
as much as I like to laugh at AI, having Steve Tyler as a judge is like having Secretariat giving pony rides at a child's party.
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01-19-2011 22:08
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There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.
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01-19-2011 22:04 by Aaron
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If I had to pick which Kevin Bacon movie I like the most, It would be a tie,.... between all of them
I checked out a dating site. That famous "ugly stick" sure has been busy.
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01-19-2011 20:26
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I would kill the sexiest person on earth but suicide is a crime
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01-19-2011 20:25 by SEXYONE
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One day, long, long ago. There lived a woman who didn't nag, whine, and b!tch. But it was a long time ago, and it was just that one day. The
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01-19-2011 20:06
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My new life goal is to do something worthy of being on a commemorative plate while holding a commemorative plate.
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01-19-2011 19:21 by shoesan
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People learn english all the time, It arent that hard
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01-19-2011 19:04 by Bdog
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How times have changed. I remember dialing 07734 to a pager to say hello!
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01-19-2011 18:42 by Djmiller
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hates being asked if I've had any "past experience." Is there any other kind?
likes to believe the spell czech on my computer has never failed me.
I feel like I've been watching Jersey Shore (The Facebook edition) for three days Now! B1tchin about every lil thing is like a rockin chair, It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you any where.
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01-19-2011 17:19 by Ronnie
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Check One : [] single [] taken [X] climbin in yo window, snatchin yo people up.
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01-19-2011 17:17
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PSA: When you find out it is a snow day, everyone on facebook already knows. Please do your best to refrain from updating your status to "no school" or "snow day". As it does get on my nerves.
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01-19-2011 16:39 by @bunfoo
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There are some people in this world... When they ask you for advice because they did something wrong... You just wanna say " If I were you... I would just go ahead and punch myself in the face for being that stupid to begin with..."
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01-19-2011 16:25
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