Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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breaking up with his flirtatious imaginary girlfriend in hope that his seductive mythological lover could become more allegorical.... 
rejected to be the 5th Ninja Turtle.
Only Robinson Crusoe had ever everything done by Friday.
lets do a 68...you do me and I owe you one.
it was once said that corey haim couldnt act the part of a corpse, way to show em corey, way to show em.
Some T.V celebs are jumping on the Sarar Palin bandwagon. Jay Leno, David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel
Women, can't live with them.... can't live with them
upset about all of these celebrity deaths. First, Rue McClanahan, then, Gary Coleman, and now, Jimmy Dean. I guess you could summarize it as the loss of "sex, drugs, and sausage rolls"...
If Apple created the iHouse, it wouldn't have any Window.
Rupert Murdoch is said to be deeply touched by the messages from family and friends left on Whitney Houstons phone.
"I wasnt that Drunk", "Dude you were in my pool trying to find Nemo"
"Want half of my sandwich?"- Jeffery Dahmer
Nothing SCREAMS "I have a small peni$", more than owning/riding a Harley Davidson!.
Congrats to Obama for his Oscar win for best acting by a Politician last night ! !
Honk if you love a peaceful and quiet drive.
► Play the moments ▌▌ Pause the memories ■ Stop the pain ◄◄ Rewind the happiness. Be a remote in your life
"When people fight and hate and kill over Me I'm obviously very flattered." - GOD
Religion is only 4000 years old and based on where you live. The world is billions of years old.
If you put anything in your mouth that Bill Cosby gives you, he'll probably be putting something else in there in the very near future. Somebody should probably just kill him!
More excited than Tiger Woods in a Strip Club 