Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   ill show my neighbor where to stick his subwoofer, bass or whatever he has...ill turn the volume up all the way this time

   “Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most

   $1200 for a redbone hound pup....fn puppy pimps!!!

   The real meanings of Facebook event RSVP's yes= most likely going but might bail last second, No= your lame why would I go somewhere with you, maybe= I'm not going but I'm too much of a pu$$ to say no.

   Remember that good decisions rarely make for good stories.

   They say that life's a dream… well call this insomnia

   Remember Billy Gilman? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was Allison Krauss the whole time.

   where's my invisibility cape?? I wanna stay till the end!

   ''Its difficult not to judge urself by someone else's reaction''

   Maybe now is a good time to change my religious views to very religious, just in case.

   i guess if you got the last name weiner, you better advertise it!

   Pride Weekend? You know that you have hit it big when you get a song for a whole weekend. Way to go U2

   Wishing I was hot sticky and sweet.

   The best things are unseen,that's why we close our eyes when we Kiss,Laugh and Dream

   Keep your friends close and your enemies...on a tight leash.

   who's your daddy and what does he do? Governor California

   Faithful and trust worthy partners are like a thong on a fat girl…so hard to find.

   i heard tim pawlenty has pulled out of the GOP race. Well I guess he can now finally go back to his regular job as being nicholas cages stunt double. oh wait hes jobless too...my bad

   the economy is so bad I saw a walmart CEO shopping at walmart

   Netflix is raising their prices again?! This sounds like a job for Hacker Group Anonymous!