Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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unique just like everyone in here! 
running dangerously low on cheetos
Wonders who the first idiot was that tried out a Shark proof suit?
C.R.E.A.M. - Coffee Rules Everything Around Me
Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I'm asking for only one.
They are making a Mexican version of the ‘Sound of the Music'? Sombrer over the mountain…..
The Vatican's chief exorcist says yoga is a satanic practice, which means yoga just got about 11,000,000% cooler.
What did the ocean say to the land.....nothing it just waved
The weather man (drug dealer) says I can have a white Christmas (cocaine) with plenty of trees (weed) and now I'm happy (broke)
Every kiss begins with K, unless it's forced then it begins with R.
Today, I went to Walmart to get the latest Grand Theft Auto. The salesgirl didn't know what it was, so I tried to expalin. "It's about a black guy who crashes his car, sleeps with prostitues, and attacks people with a golf club." She came back with Tiger
I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up. They have no holidays.
Fast food places gonna be bumpin today, Happy 4/20 (̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅̅_̅()ڪے~
Beyonce has more African American people in her belly than Trump has in his cabinet.
Melania Trump homemaker tip: When sorting your laundry, don't forget to separate your deplorables from your coloreds.
White House admits quid pro quo. This is getting a lot interesting now.
The morality rate for Covid-19 is 2%. The percentage of g@ys is 4%. You have a greater chance of becoming a mollusk muncher or a pole smoker than dying from the Coronavirus.
When you post pictures of yourself flaunting money, I am forced to think you're not used to having it
Unfortunately, due to a recent stroke, my friends left side is now completely useless. .. I now refer to it as His feminine side!......jimboleem
im gonna put a ringtone of a baby crying and put it in a case. Then when it rings I will start punching the bag saying shut up BI*CH!! 