Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Methinks someone in Washington has discovered that "Hope and Change" is a lot easier to say than it is to deliver .

   The national debt is up 40% since Inauguration Day. Unemployment is up 1.2%. We're not only still fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan; we're now engaged with Libya. Gas prices are approaching $4.00/gal, and we're halfway through the fiscal year and sti

   Note to self: That was way to much beer!

   50% of my weirdness makes the other 50% creepy.

   Breaking: French warplanes engaging Libyan air force. Related: France surrenders to Libya.

   Why is Germany sitting out the no-fly Zone? Uh, history of losing in N. Africa?

   Since when did "Paint By Numbers" make an EYEBROW kit?!?!?!

   comment "An acute failure of the victim selection process." next time someone post the video of the fat kid body slaming the little bully

   Fact: Tan cellulite looks better than pale cellulite.

   I love old people because they're wise and smell like soup.

   Homeless people dont have it too bad; I mean.......they dont have to pay taxes, WORK, pay bills, hell.......they can freakin sleep anytime they want!

   To all you guys out there that "pimp" out your truck , its like dressing your son up in girls clothes.

   Supermoon is awesome!!! Oh wait, that's a streetlight.....

   just caught a glimpse of the supermoon coming from behind the clouds.. It looked like..... the moon!

   I think long engagements are important because you should really get to know someone before you totally use and degrade them.

   OK, Super Moon has arrived. Not quite what I expected ., it was kinda super. Not Super Duper but yeah.

   So the US Supreme court has ruled that you have the right under the First Amendment to protest military Funerals....I invite you to Start your protest in my front yard and we can see if your first amendment is better than my Second Amendment...

   Oh great....now we get to look at a ton of photos of the moon on facebook.

   I know people are going to do what they do regardless of what I say I do...and I've come to the conclusion that people are just ignorant!

   not a fan of emploees who take 25 min dumps, twice a day, while on the clock, everyday. Crap on. Crap Off. Crap on crap off, The Crapper.