Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   not your daddy

   Our toes look nothing like that – Camels

   I don't take responsibility for how I handled the Coronavirus situation. Instead, I'll blame it all on Obama.

   If you're wondering why the COVID-19 rate is do low in Germany and high in the USA, it's because Germany's president used to be a quantum chemist and the USA's president used to be a reality television host.

   A lot of sports teams are called 'The Devils'... if I had a sports team I would call it 'The Jesus Christ Almighties'

   Patroits must have been in charge of the commercials this year, cuz THEY SUCKED!

   According to Catholics beliefs, when a Pope dies, he has to perform two miracles from the grave so that he can be considered a SAINT. And you say religion is not DUMB.

   I would love to see things your way, but I'm not sure if I can stick my head that far up my butt.

   The other day Pope Benedict named five new saints to the Catholic Church. Some, however, are questioning whether Obama deserved it.

   Does anyone else think that all illegal immigrants should be given a Toyota to drive back across the border?? ;)

   making a sex tape and shooting up heroin with Miley Cyrus

   Oh, so you're religious? *backs away slowly*

   rick Perry...texas has a Republicam Governor running for president that seems like an idiot...this sounds familiar lol

   Q: What do you call a Packers fan holding a bottle of champagne after the Super Bowl? A: Waiter.

   man sent to hospital after finding 6 plastic horses up his arse.....his condition is stable

   How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for the fresh prints

   Our Father who art in Chicago. Hockey be thy name. Thy will be done, the Cup will be won, on the ice as well as in the stands.

   Obama is proposing a dress code for America so no one offends each other

   When I get an unlike under my stuff, I assume people’d had laughed so hard that had pressed the unlike button accidentally.

   You British Fu*k no one cares about soccer