Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The most impressive miracle Jesus performed in the Bible was how he just went from 12 to 30 years without anyone noticing.

   America is only the land of the free for people who have lots of money.

   Sorry there will be no April Fools day prank coming out of the white house. They already did by putting Trump in office.

   SCIENTISTS Have Revealed Today That They Have Found A New Drug For DEPRESSED LESBIANS...........It's Called " TRYDIXAGAIN " tee hee~

   "If ya can't beat them, kill 'em" -Tony Stewart

   56 yrs ago today Rosa Parks occupied a seat on a bus that she wasn't supposed to sit in because she was black. Her act continues to inspire.

   if man evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys??

   make love, not babies.

   You want to force people to stand for the flag? Please tell me more about this FREE country of yours?

   Everytime there is an awkward silence, a gay baby is born.

   Its interesting that Obama is visiting India for the very reason Indians go to US : JOBS!

   Bought a pack of air the other day. Guess what... There were Chips inside

   Republican convention next week.... Hurricane Isaac is predicted to hit Florida next week.... Even Mother Nature doesn't like Republicans.

   I’m planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can’t have any biologically.

   "has changed their status to ""drinking beer in the shower."" 9:03am"

   an unlicensed helicopter pilot.

   listed as in a relationship with his blackberry device...

   [You're choking]:---- I have two choices: Do I perform the Hiemlich Manuever or should I just stand there and pray for you?.........Science: 1 , Religion: -10

   obama even suxs more on thanksgiving....

   Life is too short to dance with fat chicks