santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Nothing says Christmas in the South like cranking up the air conditioner while waiting for the tornado warning. . .
←Rate | 12-12-2021 20:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there are kids singing Christmas carols outside, is it rude to open the door and throw beer cans at them? Because I just did that.
←Rate | 12-09-2021 22:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't wait for the fat man to show up on Christmas eve, and no I'm not talking about Trump.
←Rate | 12-08-2021 21:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's all fun and games. . . Until Santa checks the naughty list.
←Rate | 12-08-2021 20:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Took my car into the mechanic. It was making a horrible high-pitched squeal. He said it was coming from the the Mariah Carey Christmas CD.
←Rate | 12-08-2021 18:09 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa: Either you give me what I want for Christmas or I'll turn Rudolph and Comet into a piece of deer jerky. Make it happen, fat man!
←Rate | 12-08-2021 05:36 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's a Christmas Idea for yas... Cheech and Chong advent calendars with 1 gram of different weed a day .
←Rate | 12-07-2021 21:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything I know about dancing I learned from the Charlie Brown Christmas party.
←Rate | 12-07-2021 05:38 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas is truly a magical time. It's made all my money disappear!
←Rate | 12-06-2021 06:11 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon ATTENTION EVERYONE: I have an announcement to make. Santa just confirmed that I have been very good this year!
←Rate | 12-05-2021 19:46 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I decided to beat Black Friday and start my Christmas shopping early. *Runs Amazon van off the road
←Rate | 12-03-2021 17:28 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mom has been attending her own personal Ugly Christmas Sweater Party every holiday season since 1984.
←Rate | 12-02-2021 15:51 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like it when my wife makes Christmas shopping easy. This year she said she wants a gun, Duct tape, some rope, and a large sturdy bag. Can't wait to see what she gets me!
←Rate | 12-01-2021 19:07 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, so you're preparing turkey again for Christmas? Twice in one month. Kudos to you. I'm overwhelmed by your imagination.
←Rate | 11-29-2021 08:10 by Caponlooey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I cut down my own Christmas tree this year. My neighbor isn't very happy about it because it was in his yard.
←Rate | 11-26-2021 13:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any movie can be a Christmas movie if you eat 37 sugar cookies while watching.
←Rate | 11-23-2021 13:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well it's July and almost 100 degrees. Walmart should be putting the Christmas stuff out any day now.
←Rate | 07-12-2021 16:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a happier note... Cuomo is going down faster than Kamala Harris at the company Christmas party.
←Rate | 02-26-2021 09:13 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon shoutout to my mom who has reused the same Christmas gift bags for so long she just found a gift card to the Cheesecake Factory from 1999.
←Rate | 01-27-2021 07:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Finding out there's no Q is just as devastating as a child finding out Santa isn't real.
←Rate | 01-22-2021 08:53 Comments (0)  




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