santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon A Citizen's Arrest for the next person who asks me if I'm ready for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-03-2019 13:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon One Christmas eve, Santa was under a lot of stress. When an angel walk in with a tree and ask what he should do with the tree was how the tradition got started.
←Rate | 12-01-2019 23:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Santa is jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
←Rate | 12-01-2019 23:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The neighbors are already putting up their Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving who have obviously been shopping in Walmart.
←Rate | 11-24-2019 14:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The last time I bought a Christmas tree the sales person said “are you going to put that up yourself?” I thought, that is strange. No, I’m just gonna put it up in the living room
←Rate | 11-20-2019 13:31 by Rickster Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can we celebrate Thanksgiving this year and be thankful for all we have before we start thinking about all the cheap Chinese made plastic junk we don't need for Christmas?
←Rate | 11-09-2019 09:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Like people who leave their Christmas decorations up all year I left my Halloween decorations up and saved a lot of work thanks to the spiders!
←Rate | 10-31-2019 01:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Lady stabbed a guy singing Christmas Songs at the Mall. I bailed her out.
←Rate | 10-12-2019 12:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon There is nothing stopping a condom company from saying they are the only condoms worn by Santa Claus
←Rate | 09-26-2019 05:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The night before the kids go back to school is the grown ups version of Christmas Eve.
←Rate | 09-02-2019 20:47 by Jsabbage Comments (0)  

   messageicon This is ridiculous its July 8th... Neighbors are still shooting off fireworks, one almost caught my Christmas decorations on fire..
←Rate | 07-08-2019 15:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Now it's too hot out to take the Christmas lights down.
←Rate | 06-28-2019 19:49 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon For Sale. Slightly used Christmas tree. Price negotiable. Can pick up in front of neighbor's house.
←Rate | 01-23-2019 09:49 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon For sale: Slightly used Christmas tree. Can pick up in front of neighbors house.
←Rate | 12-28-2018 07:53 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Loving and all these Christmas photos you're posting of your families who look as joyous and festive as the family who came with a picture frame I bought a while ago, who I also don't know.
←Rate | 12-26-2018 13:21 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an Italian restaurant.
←Rate | 12-25-2018 21:24 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think for Christmas Mark Zuckerberg should share some of his wealth with us all we helped him make, or at least give us fonts.
←Rate | 12-24-2018 14:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know what most people are getting for Christmas? Fat.
←Rate | 12-24-2018 11:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The liquor store clerk just wished me a Merry Christmas. As if he wasn't going to see me 5 more times before then.
←Rate | 12-23-2018 07:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This whole Santa should have no gender is crap. Here is how you know Santa is a man. He shows up late, eats your cookie, empties his sack, comes only once, calls you a Ho and leaves while you're asleep.
←Rate | 12-22-2018 15:26 by Ky Comments (0)  

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