santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon All I want for Christmas is you ...... Just kidding I want Money
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't understand why people buy Christmas trees just to throw them away a month later. Heck ... Do they think Christmas trees grow on trees?
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This Wiki Leaks is getting out of control -- They just leaked Santa's Christmas list.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon SCORE!!! .... I just bought my wife a 20 pound bag of Diamonds for Christmas......well they're diamonds in the rough....Well ... maybe EARLY stage diamonds...... but with enough time and pressure......they will be diamonds......Thanks Kingsford !
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ....... HA ... The liquor store clerk just wished me a Merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 12 more times before then.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...... .♫♪♫..... it's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas... ♫♪♫
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks real cool, hanging from my car's rear view mirror.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think it's time I go outside and pretend I'm putting up Christmas lights I never took down from last year.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christmas - The time of year when you can get the whole dysfunctional family together under one roof!
←Rate | 12-13-2016 21:24 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Lexus commercials with the Christmas bow on the car never show the pissed off wife yelling "You're an idiot Tom! We can't afford this!"
←Rate | 12-13-2016 04:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This Christmas you can either join the Mile High club or the less prestigious Rock Bottom club, having sex on a Greyhound bus. If that's not rock bottom, I don't know what is.
←Rate | 12-13-2016 04:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Christmas tree wasn't the only thing that got lit up last weekend!!
←Rate | 12-12-2016 11:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Be honest....has ANYONE ever eaten the Fruit Cake they got for Christmas?
←Rate | 12-11-2016 23:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon To any of my single Lady friends, if your wish to have me naked for Christmas, private message me. Thanks.
←Rate | 12-10-2016 13:54 by JAB Comments (0)  

   messageicon if I Really tell Santa what I want for Christmas, Then I will definitely be on his naughty list ...
←Rate | 12-09-2016 23:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon All of these years in therapy have finally paid off folks... Turns out my therapist just recommended I get supervision this festive season. I have always wanted super powers! BEST Christmas present ever...
←Rate | 12-09-2016 23:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Kinda bummed that every Christmas for the last 12 years, I've been way too drunk to remember all the good times and the laughter we shared. Well, I leaned my lesson. It's time to get my act together for the family. This Christmas, I'm hiring a cameraman.
←Rate | 12-09-2016 23:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon FINALLY!!! ..... I'm not being harassed incessantly by my family and coworkers for listening to Christmas Music. It was really rough back in July tho.
←Rate | 12-09-2016 12:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon PUBLIC CHRISTMAS SAFETY ANNOUNCEMENT: .... Always remember, If you got a big-screen TV for Christmas, be sure to put the empty box out with your neighbor's trash. That way, their house will get robbed instead of yours.
←Rate | 12-09-2016 11:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'll be home for Christmas.....and in therapy by New Years.
←Rate | 12-08-2016 09:12 Comments (0)  

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