Exercise Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
←Rate | 04-28-2013 21:43 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Yes, people who exercise live longer. But those extra years are spent...umm...excercising!
←Rate | 03-07-2012 10:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If it weren't for the fact that my bed is so far away from my computer, some days I wouldn't exercise at all.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 12:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My exercise program consists of following women at the store who are wearing tight yoga pants.
←Rate | 05-19-2017 10:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The "Map My Run" Facebook posts are a great way to track how far you went to brag about exercise or show your exercise running from the police.
←Rate | 07-08-2016 14:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat exercise when offered something to eat.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 12:46 by brandie Comments (0)  

   messageicon Football is a game in which a handful of men run around for one and a half hours watched by millions of people who could really use the exercise.
←Rate | 06-18-2010 15:23 by BEGO Comments (1)  

   messageicon I need a female exercise partner. When I say exercise I mean emotionless sex.
←Rate | 11-21-2013 14:33 by Jackoo Comments (0)  

   messageicon I never thought I'd be the kind of person who'd wake up early in the morning to exercise. And I was right.
←Rate | 08-14-2015 15:28 by eengrms Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just added 'Wandering Around the Parking Lot Looking for My Car' as another Track Exercise on my Fitbit.
←Rate | 05-27-2016 01:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sex: It might be good exercise, but that's not why we do it!
←Rate | 02-21-2012 12:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
←Rate | 06-12-2010 08:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon "OK...that Trust Exercise didn't go exactly according to plan. Once we dispose of the bodies let's keep quiet about this...AS A TEAM!"
←Rate | 12-06-2014 07:01 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon When your body is sore, Exercise your mind.
←Rate | 03-01-2011 20:20 by Erick santana Comments (0)  

   messageicon I woke up early this morning with the strange desire to get up and exercise. Fortunately I rolled over and closed my eyes really tight and the feeling went away.
←Rate | 10-19-2016 16:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I bet other insects hate it when they ask a caterpillar how she became a butterfly, and she's all, "Just diet and exercise, guys!"
←Rate | 09-22-2019 07:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon whenever I say the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 08:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering if running late counts as exercise?
←Rate | 11-13-2012 14:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I count breathing as exercise.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 23:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I always feel tricked into exercise when I peel an orange.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 10:53 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  

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