Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon just taken a ride in the WAWA hoagie baloon.
←Rate | 10-10-2011 22:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All is not lost. It's just a little bit hard to keep track of.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 10:44 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I started to worry about my future, so I bought a ton of stock in my company, now I worry about the work I am putting out :/
←Rate | 04-29-2011 07:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there is light at the end of the tunnel...order more tunnel.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 07:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is not sufficient to be a success; it is also necessary for your friends to be failures.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 07:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon She said the 'F' word. She called us Friends.
←Rate | 07-27-2012 06:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not true love until they offer to get decapitated, cooked and eaten by you.
←Rate | 08-01-2012 05:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to restate the obvious, it's important obviously
←Rate | 08-01-2012 05:13 by Daddybullfrog1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not pretty being easy.
←Rate | 08-02-2012 10:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had a hammer, I'd most likely b!tch about my lack of nails.
←Rate | 08-03-2012 07:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If sex burns a lot of calories as the experts say, then Rick Ross must be a virgin.
←Rate | 08-08-2012 15:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
←Rate | 08-10-2012 09:58 by Clamwah Comments (0)  


   messageicon why are they called bag ladies, they always have carts
←Rate | 08-19-2012 22:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Mardi Gras! Laissez les bon temps Roule! And hopefully, when you wake up you don’t discover a Tattoo of "Beignets Rule" on your a$$.....do not ask me how I know this.
←Rate | 02-12-2013 12:46 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would be a nice jesture to avoid this sequester.
←Rate | 03-02-2013 05:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You claim to have started from the bottom. But you forget to mention you still down there.
←Rate | 03-09-2013 09:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So they elected an Argentinean Pope... FREE CHURASCCO FOR EVERYONE!!
←Rate | 03-13-2013 15:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the phrase "there's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide" originated from someone who farted in the shower.
←Rate | 03-18-2013 20:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate Mondays. I've destroyed my office with my air guitar twice already today!
←Rate | 03-25-2013 17:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need Google in my brain and Anti-Virus in my heart.
←Rate | 09-12-2012 21:39 by BEGO Comments (1)  




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