Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4946 of 6446

Petrichor, n. the smell of rain on dry earth
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02-27-2011 12:16
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I always Google before reading directions to anything !
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04-25-2011 06:15
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Proof that a level weirder than weirdness exists
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05-01-2011 20:53
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Hey Osama, must suck when you wake up in Hell & realize those 70 virgins were not women after all, but 70 male virgins that are sooo ready to tear that ass up in Hell.
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05-01-2011 23:08
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Hey Osama I hope you like guy's because I have 72 for you
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05-01-2011 23:11
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This must be the has been edition of celebrity apprentice.
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03-08-2011 10:39
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Decided to add upsets to my bracket this year. So far, I'm the only one that is upset.
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03-19-2011 11:46 by CSR
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I prepared my self for this rapture by playing zombies on black ops and my wife said it was a waste of time I guess the jokes on her !
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05-21-2011 08:58
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oh crap..they didn't take me but they took the rum!
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05-22-2011 09:18
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Final Words..."These are the GOOD kind of mushrooms"
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02-10-2011 14:36
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it just me, or is each "next big thing" getting less and less big and nexty, and a lot more thingy?

To make a small fortune in the stock market you need to start with a large fortune
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03-04-2011 11:00
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Now days its Interesting how all Bar Debates end up on Google without a Fight
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07-28-2011 03:27
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why don't they just make service contracts that expire the day before you need them
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08-02-2011 20:36 by migasjoe
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History repeats itself oppurtunities dont!
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08-23-2011 01:29
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I would have much more respect for someone if they personally sh!t on my lawn rather than have their dog as an intermediary.
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09-05-2011 11:34
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Freud said "Love & work are the cornerstones of our humaness." I say it's love and that show "Pawn Stars".

Music caters to every type of moment, mood and moron.
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09-14-2011 13:05
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It's like, okay, we get it, I'm a terrible driver and I almost murdered you with my car. Can I go get ice cream now?

polar bears are left handed, hi-five them accordingly
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10-05-2011 14:24
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