Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4943 of 6371
The more you just sit there and look at your problem the more it grows.
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08-21-2013 07:45
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Finally, the first snowfall of the season. Now I have a valid reason for blowing through the traffic lights.
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12-28-2012 16:28 by RB13
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"Aww. You shouldn't have" is woman for "if you didn't you better start praying"
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02-16-2013 06:18
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UGH! A co-worker is here with kids and I don't want to talk to them, so I'm trying to look busy. This is the hardest I've worked all week!
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03-13-2013 12:37 by Baddie
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Interesting what people will do for money. Noteworthy what I'll do for free beer.
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04-05-2013 13:11
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Hell is empty and all the devils are here...
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01-17-2015 09:39
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YEAR IN REVIEW: January February March April May June July August September October November December...... *nice we did it, congrats folks
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02-05-2016 19:29 by snotty
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4: Mommy, where do babies come from?..... Me: Well, sweetie, when two people tolerate each other very much...
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02-27-2016 20:34 by Snotty
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Loneliness is very dangerous. It's addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don't want to deal with people while working at any gas station.
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02-28-2016 02:57
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Me laughing: I don't drink to get drunk, I drink to.....no wait, I definitely drink to get drunk.
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02-28-2016 03:00
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You definitely can't photoshop your ugly personality
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03-26-2016 10:44
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how do people on game of thrones keep addressing multitudes without the aid of a microphone?
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05-30-2016 15:03
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If you carry a gas can in your trunk, you should rethink your life plan...
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06-03-2016 16:31
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I am not okay with the word 'lotion' since seeing Silence of the Lambs.
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06-04-2016 05:47
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Businesses be like: Buy one get one free if you pay double for the first one.
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06-04-2016 22:51
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Nick Cannon challenges Eminem to $100,000 rap battle, I am so loooking forward to watching it this week on America's Got Talent.
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06-06-2016 05:19
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Pro Tip: 84% of my adult life is singing the chorus from Boyz 2 Men's "I'll Make Love To You" at the most inappropriate time.
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06-10-2016 01:15
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I love yoga class. Except my yoga class is on my couch with a donut and instead of stretching, I cramp up due to lack of activity.
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06-10-2016 01:39
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Yes your opinions h ere will change the course of history. It will change government policy. It will change world order.
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06-14-2016 00:12
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You had me at hello. Then you said "sorry wrong apartment". Come back. You know where I live.
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06-14-2016 01:04
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