Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4898 of 6369
Never get on one knee for a girl who won't get on two for you.
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11-26-2011 17:21 by Lozo
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Put Anthony Hopkins and Robert De Niro on the same screen and you no longer have just a movie ..You have God's favorite movie,
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05-07-2012 15:55
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Dear God...thank you for all the good times you brought me this spring. Especially for that waitress in Myrtle Beach. You remember her....she kept screaming your name. :)
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05-15-2012 13:50
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Bobby Brown has a movie deal and a book about his life called "Higher than a muthafker".
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03-19-2012 08:30
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Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion
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04-17-2012 23:02 by XX-FOXY
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"Macho Man" Randy Savage died at 58. Whitney Houston at 48. Corey Haim at 38. Heath Ledger at 28. How old is Justin Bieber again?
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02-13-2012 16:20 by Gza
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I should be in Top Chef the way I Wake N Bake!
All of mankind is descended of a man and a woman who had two sons. Think about that. Take as much time as you need.
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11-20-2013 15:58
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Oh wait, Donald Trump has a bible! Lets vote for him! He is legit!
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09-27-2015 05:29
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so fine, he's so fine he blows your mind.
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02-26-2009 07:37
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wondering....Do the Fox sponsored "tea party" sheeple understand why we all laugh at them when they call themselves the "teabagers"?
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11-06-2009 11:42
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Dad, what is a silver and a bronze medal? Dad: I dunno son, we're canadians.
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02-25-2014 11:30
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Obama just announced his NEW plan! He is going to vacation in Martha's Vineyard
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08-12-2011 03:27 by BB
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Next time Rodman visits his friend KIM in North Korea, just don't let him back into USA. Problem solved.
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01-07-2014 12:12 by Baddie
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Feeding your dog Chocolate
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06-06-2008 13:12
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when I said pull out, I didnt mean shot me in the eye either!
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10-05-2010 23:30 by simply me
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Just got a text asking if I want to go to church on Sunday. I laughed so hard I choked on my vodka and shot my d ildo across the room.
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01-19-2015 23:34 by KAREN
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Subway should have their 6 inch subs on a promotional sale @ 1/2 the cost of the 12inch.. They could have Tupac and Fiftyy cent sing it for them... Tu-Fitty, Tu-Fitty, Tu-Fitty six long!
"Where was obama during the san francisco earthquake of 1906???" - Trump supporters
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09-01-2017 02:05
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crakalakin
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04-22-2008 22:49
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