Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4838 of 6382
The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when they fill out a job application.
the only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
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07-22-2010 19:34
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I tried the Facebook Friend Finder and it showed me all the people who deleted me, I think its a tad bit faulty or should be renamed!
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07-22-2010 20:38
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thinks it's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
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07-27-2010 01:24
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If the world really was going to end in 2012, the bankers would find some way to "stall" it....they ain't going to let people get away with not paying their 25 year mortgages.
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07-30-2010 10:54 by collin
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If your password is "password" then that is not the only thing I know about you.
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07-30-2010 14:52
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What could be worse than being a "people of walmart?" Getting busted taking a picture of one. Damn flash!
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08-01-2010 23:04
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Not to doubt the power of fortune cookies, but I think a better fortune would of been you are about to choke on this cookie
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08-06-2010 20:02
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If it's worth it, fight for it & if you lose it, at least you tried.
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08-10-2010 22:16 by BEGO
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The Guinness in the refrigerator is calling my name with a drunken slur.
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08-15-2010 19:29 by Jason
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the guy changing my oil this morning said he had earrings just like mine. LOL
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08-20-2010 08:33 by Lisa
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Driving school wouldn't be so bad if cops started giving tickets to all the hot girls they pull over.
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08-22-2010 18:14 by MBH
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Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
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11-15-2009 21:58
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Taking it to the streets, Welcome To the Revolution. God Bless America.
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08-24-2010 22:12 by BBach
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i wanna grow up to be like Steve Stifler
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08-28-2010 09:41
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wants a Web redemption
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09-04-2010 12:25
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Some people live life in the fast lane. You're in oncoming traffic.
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09-11-2010 19:27
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I guess the foot's on the other hand now, isn't it Kramer?
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09-26-2010 09:41
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outside of all the killing, washington has the lowest crime rate in the country
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09-27-2010 12:02
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You know you have way too many Facebook friends and need to clean up your act when you search through your friends for someone named "Taffy" and it gives you choices.
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10-01-2010 21:07
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