Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4813 of 6370
Baywatch" is now showing on Comedy Central ...Ironic..I thought it was a Drama
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08-15-2010 08:53
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I'm seriously reevaluating my MySpace Top 8
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08-17-2010 13:28 by jdpower
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In honor of having to work today, I'm not going to do a goddamned thing.
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07-10-2013 19:50
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Thanks to the economy my wallet is emptier than a potato chip bag at a Weight Watchers meeting!
when people make noise by their high heels, I want to smack them, with that shoes, on their head.
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07-26-2013 02:42
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Eat right, exercise, die anyway.
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07-31-2013 07:02 by L
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Eagles wide reciever Riley Cooper has been excused from all team activities so that he can go attend a cooking class with Paula Deen
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08-02-2013 14:06 by Michael
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Women, can't live with them, can't live without them. Might as well suffer and live with them.
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08-03-2013 08:39
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Whenever God closes a door, the Devil pushes me out a window.
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08-04-2013 18:17 by liveeurt
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Cool...I just won an award for laziness,.. I sent a buddy to pick it up for me...
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08-10-2013 14:05
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Bite marks and bruises, or it didn't happen...
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10-27-2012 15:53
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Hurricane Sandy has been found in a New Jersey swamp. Two bullets behind the ear. Hands tied behind her back. Thank you, Tony Soprano.
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11-01-2012 13:19
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** Breaking News, stores in Colorado and Washington are having a hard time keeping up with the demand for Funyuns. Store owners say the demand has grown a million times since yesterday. **
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11-07-2012 13:15
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Last night I found an actual cricket in my bed. Oh the irony!
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11-13-2012 07:33
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Further proof the Mayans were right. Hostess goes bust while Little Debbie flourishes.
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11-16-2012 11:28 by MTQ
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Hi, my name's Steve, or as the ladies like to call me "Hey, what the hell are you doing in that tree with those binoculars, get out of here you freak!!!"
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12-02-2012 17:09
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can't help but wonder just how different the world would be if people's pants actually caught on fire when they lied. 0 up, 0 down
I think "Charlie" In The Box is a little light in the spring. If ya know what I mean.
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12-04-2012 20:45
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I've just been to the local Tesco Extra. Now, I don't know what's in their meat but I can tell you they've certainly got a right cow on the checkout.
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02-26-2013 15:06
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it rude to ask a guy if he is Pregnant?
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03-07-2013 07:04
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