Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4811 of 6370
You should like yourself because that is the only person you have to spend the rest of your life with.
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06-05-2011 22:52 by BEGO
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Creaking floorboards have been known to ruin the plans of thousands of teenagers.
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06-05-2011 22:50 by BEGO
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Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things. Sincerely, 7.
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06-05-2011 22:49 by BEGO
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Talk used to be cheap...then someone invented cell phones.
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06-05-2011 22:47 by BEGO
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Maybe your ex didn't take you for granted, but they sure took you for everything else.
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06-05-2011 22:44 by BEGO
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Once upon a time, GIRLS used to cook like their mothers,but now they drink like their damn Fathers...!!!
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06-05-2011 22:43 by BEGO
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I'm gonna sue Axe because instead of attracting girls, I'm attracting damn mosquitos!
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06-05-2011 22:25 by JimJR89
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Watching this NBA game makes me miss the great Larry Bird days, now its all showboating and apparently there is an "I" in team.
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06-05-2011 21:46 by smeebert
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If you could be sold for what you think you're worth, we could all retire!
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06-05-2011 21:40 by McKibben
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next time you go to a restaurant and ask for a Coke, and they say "is Pepsi OK?", you should reply "is Monopoly money OK?"
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06-05-2011 21:39 by McKibben
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I'd rather hear a dry fart from a wet dog than hear another one of your boring stories
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06-05-2011 21:37 by Will
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Cant wait to see CBS new show this fall :: Celebrity maids:: women compete to be Arnold's new maid..
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06-05-2011 21:33
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My name is I, My problem is LOVE, The solution is YOU.
in a arguement yelling is the next best thing to being right
Oh you hate your job? Theres a support group for that, its called everybody. They meet at the bar.
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06-05-2011 20:33
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nice guys finish last, and bring you breakfast in bed.
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06-05-2011 20:30
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available for rebound sex.
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06-05-2011 20:27
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Looking for a new job. One that I can sit at a long table, take off my glasses, and say "If your calculations are correct...my God have mercy on our souls" Pay negotiable
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06-05-2011 20:08 by flinnie
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I suffer from schizophrenia. (I really don't.) Do. (Don't.) Do. (Don't!) Do! (Shut up!) NO, YOU SHUT UP! (Poo Poo head) THATS IT! (what?) I hate you. (i know)
#ThoughtsWhileLosingVirginity.........."So this is what all the hype is about huh"
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06-05-2011 18:42
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