Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4792 of 6369
Whitney finally caught up to her career.
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02-12-2012 08:22
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Casey Anthony tried to celebrate her acquittal last night at Chili's but waiters kept walking by singing, "I want my babyback babyback babyback... I want my babyback babyback babyback..."
If 'faith' was based on evidence then it would be called 'knowledge'. It isn't because it isn't.
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11-23-2015 10:42
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My girlfriend just caught me blow drying my pen!s and asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating your dinner" was not the right answer.
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04-25-2012 20:48 by Nate004
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taking a walk outside her mind
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12-16-2008 00:47
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I had a dream that I got a job with Lynyrd Skynyrd, and then I woke up. I didn't even make it to my first live show.
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10-01-2021 19:23
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Amy Winehouse dead at 27?!? Wow! If only there had been warning signs...
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07-25-2011 17:38
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Childbirth...So easy even a woman can do it!
You know you are in deep financial crisis when you wife is giving you Bl@wjob just because you can't afford to buy yogurt.
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01-14-2013 15:27
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Ladies, leave the football related posts to us boys and we'll leave the laundry posts for you...
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09-15-2012 16:47
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How does a lesbian hold her liquor? By the ears.
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10-27-2009 13:47
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If America had a slogan it'd be "Don't bother me, I'm eating."
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09-17-2010 19:28
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"Let there be me." God, just before he created himself out of nothing.
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04-04-2014 00:14
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My epileptic wife had a seizure in a bathtub full of water so I threw in some dirty laundry and laundry detergent. WIN !!!
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04-29-2012 11:32
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LIKE if you hate when someone tags you in a horrible picture.
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07-25-2011 21:49 by BEGO
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My cat's black and he doesn't get offended when I use the 'N' word, so why should you?
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09-23-2012 07:22
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can't find a valentine even though I have gotten my bedwetting problem under control... what else do you lady's want from me... to watch lifetime with you???
Before I get into the shower at the gym I yell "Hey Fag!" If any one turns around I leave.
Fox News is the conservative Republican version of Josef Goebbels' Ministry of Propaganda, with more rhetoric.
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12-12-2011 23:27 by Jeremy
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The republican party... I'm sorry I thought we were telling jokes
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12-17-2011 17:00
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