Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4784 of 6371
Lady at the table next time mine just told the waiter "Oh, I just wanted one teabag with that." I'm holding back the laughter.
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12-30-2010 13:21
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If you were naked in bed, laying between Cheryl Cole and Alan Carr, which one would you face and which one would you turn your back to?
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01-09-2011 07:26 by @clarkysj
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can't stand on his own because he's too-tired and a bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two-tired
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12-24-2009 11:05 by Mmz
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Happy Chinese New year!! It is the year of the Tiger. I can think of one Tiger who isn't having a good year.
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02-14-2010 22:19
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Fine Arts < Real Education
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02-25-2010 11:44
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Be careful the bridges you burn today may be the very ones you will one day have to cross!
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03-03-2010 23:14
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so awesome, even my Camaro says Iroc!
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08-24-2010 20:49 by jables
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Apparently saying you're gay with excitement about going to the Texas Rodeo is a poor choice of words
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09-12-2010 19:14
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..doesn't understand people who say "by now.." As in "by now you should have children,.by now you should be married..by now you should.." Sorry but if "by now" i'll "pay later".
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
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04-22-2010 16:31
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A friday with out Booze is like a Church without a priest...
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04-23-2010 03:25
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Did you know your Index finger is a perfect fit for your nostril?
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05-03-2010 12:53
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Frankly, 'm surprised BP hasn't called Tiger Woods, given his expertise in filling golf holes
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05-28-2010 11:48 by Joser
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Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.......or swallow... In that case, call me ;)
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06-03-2010 17:48
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smelling the whiskey burning down Copperhead Road.....
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06-19-2010 15:47
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There's a good chance that any empty can you see rolling along the sidewalk is just Patrick Swayze's ghost learning how to move objects.
Top 100 lies:::#38 No baby, I've never faked it with you.
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11-20-2011 21:21
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If going down on one knee is called Tebowing, then I guess dropping your pants and bending over is called being a US citizen!
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11-22-2011 08:50
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Facebook needs these 3 buttons: “Dislike”, “Who cares”, “Are you an idiot?”
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11-22-2011 20:38 by BEGO
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Kourtney Kardashian's pregnant. This is awesome because I was just starting to think that Chewbaccas were becoming extinct...