Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4774 of 6370
Good lord I'd hate to see what Canadians do if they lose in curling!
←Rate |
06-16-2011 05:38 by flinnie
Comments (0)
Found out yesterday that apparently saying I have dyslexia is not a good excuse for driving 51 in a 15 mph school zone.
←Rate |
06-16-2011 03:37 by ff1241
Comments (0)
Every night the dis likes multiply by 6.. Wonder what side of the world is making that happen? The unfunny side. (europe)
←Rate |
06-16-2011 03:02
Comments (0)
Cheese is like a villain from a horror movie: Whatever you do to it only makes it stronger. Shred it? Better. Slice it? Better. Melt it? Perfection.
←Rate |
06-16-2011 00:49 by J. BIAZA
Comments (0)
Dear children,stop wondering what I am. I'm a star! You just said it like two seconds ago. Sincerely, Twinkle Twinkle
←Rate |
06-15-2011 23:55 by punkie
Comments (0)
If you woke up tomorrow and all you had was what you had thanked God for today, what would you have?
←Rate |
06-15-2011 23:37
Comments (0)
solving all the world's problems--one roll of duct tape at a time...
←Rate |
06-15-2011 22:24
Comments (0)
Women...why is it so hard to F-in fill the gas tank? The E doesn't stand for ENOUGH!!
From the way Vancouver goalie Roberto Loungo is playing in the Stanly Cup, it appears that he watched too much of the NBA Finals and wants to change his name to LeBron-go...
←Rate |
06-15-2011 21:55
Comments (0)
I don't get Pitbull, he makes one decent song and then sings for 10 seconds in others and he makes millions of dollars? Wtf?
←Rate |
06-15-2011 21:41
Comments (0)
I just asked a guy at the Mac Store if the iPhone 5 will come with an app that makes AT&T not suck.
←Rate |
06-15-2011 21:34 by jdpower
Comments (0)
FACT: When a woman feels like her emotions are being played with.............She becomes the FBI...
←Rate |
06-15-2011 21:08
Comments (0)
"We Built This City on Slave Labor and Freemason Secrets" - Thomas Jefferson Starship.
PAY DAY: A day when I never feel like working....CHECK PLEASE!
←Rate |
06-15-2011 20:33
Comments (0)
Headline on TMZ: "SHOCKING Nude Photos of Paris Hilton Leaked.” Seriously TMZ, if you really want to shock us, try leaking some photos of Paris reading a book
←Rate |
06-15-2011 18:31
Comments (1)
When at a meeting when the boss says "anyone have any suggestions?" Don't say "inappropriate touch Tuesday"...trust me
←Rate |
06-15-2011 17:50 by flinnie
Comments (0)
Wave your hands in the air, if a bee is right there.
←Rate |
06-15-2011 17:47 by flinnie
Comments (0)
Why is it so hard to find a soothsayer in this day and age?!
←Rate |
06-15-2011 17:46 by flinnie
Comments (0)
its come to my attention its been sometime since many of you have brought the noise/and or funk
←Rate |
06-15-2011 17:45 by flinnie
Comments (0)
(last one I promise) - LaBron James will publish his autobiography as soon as he can come up with a TITLE
←Rate |
06-15-2011 17:35 by migasjoe
Comments (0)