Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4763 of 6370
OMG! Maury Povich just pulled up with a camera crew.. My fathers day just got complicated.
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06-19-2011 22:02 by Lonagan
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Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when the person across the aisle is reading it?
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06-19-2011 21:35 by BEGO
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I'm pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
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06-19-2011 21:27 by BEGO
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A man's life is spent between episodes of women being mad at him.
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06-19-2011 21:25 by BEGO
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Teenagers are the most misunderstood people on the planet. They're treated like children, and expected to act like adults.
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06-19-2011 21:17 by BEGO
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Al Qaeda has a new leader, may a new round of hide and seek begin
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06-19-2011 21:14
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I'll never forget from my EX last words: "Are you sure I don't need a parachute?"
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06-19-2011 21:11 by BEGO
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How come the week always lasts longer than the money you have?
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06-19-2011 21:09 by BEGO
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Every time I eat Chinese food I wear something nice, just in case I die in the same position as Elvis.
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06-19-2011 20:33 by Aaron
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My house phone is only good for calling my cellphone when I lose it.
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06-19-2011 19:13
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Happy Fathers Day, mom!!! :D
No matter what you can do, no matter how talented you are, no matter how amazing and unique that talent may be, somewhere in the world an Asian kid can do it better.
Some smartphones are actually smarter than their owners.
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06-19-2011 16:44
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Don't forget to thank the Moms too for putting up with the Fathers all along, cause without them their wouldn't be any Dads!!
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06-19-2011 16:36 by Wolf
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I opened our windows to get some fresh air in the house and now the neighbors are wondering why the whole block stinks
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06-19-2011 16:03 by Aaron
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Happy Father's Day, all! Be nice to your dad today. Remember it's because of him not pulling out in time that you're alive today!
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06-19-2011 15:57 by biggie
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Got a flannel shirt for the 9th Fathers Day in a row... Thanks honey, cant wait to see what you get me next year!
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06-19-2011 14:57 by Downey
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• When dealing with women, puppy eyes will get you just about everything. Actual puppies will get you even more.
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06-19-2011 14:08
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Let's not forget a Happy Father's day to all the Sugar Daddies out there.
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06-19-2011 14:08
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@Guys - your nipples make no sense to us.
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06-19-2011 14:00
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