Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If practicing your autograph is g@y, I don't wanna be straight.

   Do NOT download the Mel Gibson app on your new iPhone. It attacks all your other apps, then implodes.

   During a speech at Columbia University, founder of Microsoft, Bill Gates, said his rival at Apple, Steve Jobs, has done a fantastic job. Then Gates froze up and had to be restarted. :)

   I can finally sympathize with women after I had to make a CVS trip at 2 am because my XBOX controller ran out of batteries.

   i am a member of the C.S.I cant stand idiots

   mark wahlberg said "The world needs Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber is like the white Tupac compared to a lot of people out there." marky mark need to go back to rehab for PCP.

   wondering what Tennesse Titans' nickname is, giving that Jacksonville Jaguars is "Jags" and Tampa Bay Bucaneers is "Bucs".

   how selfish are my neighbours to have a pin number on thier wifi.....rude that's what I call it!

   Algebra, Chemistry, and Physics, are a few things that have driven more women to the poles than the Suffrage movement...

   Anyone else put snowballs in the freezer in anticipation of a snowball fight you don't plan on losing?

   anyone on Myspace anymore? I wonder if Tom is on facebook....

   says welcome to Facebook... Your mortgage is past due.

   thinks you are so dull that even watching you choke on a knife would be boring.

   Thinks your haircut looked better before the 'cutting' part.

   a procrastinator... ehh i'll finish this post later

   the economy is soo bad that The Mafia is laying off judges...

   when you go to a Star Wars convention, the odds of getting a girl are good. But the goods are odd...

   the definition of Door: What my dog is perpetually on the wrong side of!

   never allowed his schooling to interfere with his education.

   Sometimes you think a thought and just when you think that thought was not worth thinking then you think about it and after have thought the thought over will never think it again.