Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Love,Live,Exist and be loyal. The rest is a piece of cake. You only live once so live your life right

   a nite with me is like giving a gun to a 6yr old...you don't know how its gonna end, but you know it's gonna make the papers!

   I feel like I'm beeing internet stalked

   I am fairly certain that the last thing to ever fail on my car is that god damn signal that warns me that I am not wearing my seatbelt.

   Dreams touch your heart and soul, it is a magical memory that unites fantasy and reality.....Welcome aboard to “Sweet Dreams” airline, All passengers on bed hug ur pillows, as the flight will be leaving soon to dream land. Enjoy your flight…“Good

   ...knows the difference between "should of" and "should have" since 1979!

   my voices started talking spanish and right in the middle of a sentence then changed to russian....what do you think that means? I dont understand any thing but English. I'm starting to think they are planning a War against me

   I feel like LIFESAVERS candy is overstating their importance...But just to be on the safe side I'm gonna go get some! If I'm found dead,I would like them to be sued for false advertising.

   You guys seriously f**k to Justin Beiber? That's sad.

   ...thinks that the web loaded slowly enough before someone came up with the brilliant idea of adding all of these Facebook "Like" buttons...

   skinny dipping with snapping turtles...oh what a feeling!

   A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

   just had someone have a go at her for deleting them from her facebook.Whilst I know it is a childish thing to do I can't help thinking "I don't give A TINY RATS ARSE that is WHY I DELETED YOUh

   I just realised Chewbacca carries a Purse!"

   I think I've watched too many scary movies because every time I go to Chic-fil-a I find they are way too nice. I keep expecting their eyes to roll back in to their head while they are smiling and saying "its my pleasure to serve you."

   didn't think I needed a dude for anything...but batteries aren't gonna help me move this furniture around.

   She never lied to you. She promised to be your first and last... she just never said anything about all the others in between.

   drinks, dinner, drinks....rinse and repeat...happy Friday..smile

   here for you...but not now I am playing video games.

   If the game doesn't freeze every 6 minutes, then you're not watching FOX.