Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Donald Trump's spokesperson, Katrina Pierson, is now comparing him to Walt Disney and Henry Ford. Two of the most famous Nazi sympathizers.

   Donald Trump wants to keep us in suspense about the survival of our democracy and orderly change of government.... I can't wait!

   If Meth could stand up straight, put on dirty clothes, take drugs, date its cousin and sing crappy music, it would look like Kid Rock.

   Trump: all these women outside Aide: Sir? Trump: I have my scores ready. When is the swimsuit competition?

   I think this lunatic POTUS just needs to get laid. Can someone convince a Melania to take on for the Country?

   Mabee someone shoulda gave christina one of those wristbands the quarterbacks use and wrote the lyrics on it.

   waiting for Charlie Sheen to start jumping on the chair/couch and start going nuts like Tom Cruise did on Oprah!!!!!!

   Damnit, I have eaten all my popcorn and the movie has not even started.

   expecting the unexpected...so now the unexpected is expected thus, I am expecting the expected.. unexpectedly. ..

   ..... That was no earthquake in DC ......... that was a warning shot!!!!

   When I put sea salt on fish, I wonder if they may already know each other.

   what the Woman really mean Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it

   I've just finished writing an epic new film series about dyslexic vampires. It's called the Twiglet Saga.

   lovin' this cold front of 93* its better than tha temp we been havin 103*...sincerely Alabama

   I'd rather play the adult only version of "Duct Duct Tape" if you know what I mean. ;0)

   HAPPY 420 JOKERS SMOKERS AND MIDNIGHT TOKERS!

   I feel duped. I went to a march of dimes event, and I didn't see a single damn dime marching.

   I like to go into diners and quietly start conversations with strangers about eggs and the apocalypse.

   Sooooo this midget walks into a bar....well a bicycle rack....

   Everybody wear a Facebook t-shirt and FlashMob 8am at MySpace HQ when Tom gets to work. Be there!