Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4623 of 6446

Please don't wish me sweet dreams, I am diabetic.
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08-15-2011 14:01
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my "sleep number" is a 12.....pack
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08-20-2011 23:12 by oatmeal
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If you watch the looting videos in reverse, they are really generous people
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08-21-2011 10:55 by No Body
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I hate when a singer I can't stand comes out with a song that is UNLIKE them and I like it and don't even realize it is them. Then someone tells me who it is and it ruins the song for me.
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09-08-2011 22:22 by Paul
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texting Buffy her next victim...EDWARD
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02-04-2011 15:22
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so far, this is the oldest I've ever been

Women beg for love wit sex and guys beg for sex wit love.

If you didn't have all this money, I'd still love you..and miss you very much.
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07-15-2011 10:52
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Life and Wife are two words that rhyme, but if you have one, you can't have the other!
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07-31-2011 16:02 by BAD GUY
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decided to go on a Light Diet....whenever there's light...I eat.
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03-10-2011 13:25 by mullerman
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DNA Tests today confirmed danny devito is arnolds love child..
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05-27-2011 12:02
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I have more friends on Facebook then I do for real
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06-26-2011 00:33
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so who wants to take bets on a William and Kate sex tape scandal by the end of the year?

There's a reminder on my calendar for tomorrow that inexplicably just says "LEOPARD". This has been bothering me all month.

Love doesn't cost a thing... except tears, a broken heart, wasted time, and half ur sh!t.
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09-21-2011 03:24 by bb
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They always say never work with animals or kids, this is especially true in porn. :/
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10-11-2011 11:26
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Seeking one-night stand... Possibly 2 because I have two lamps.
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02-09-2022 14:59 by MM
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I'd prefer to believe in Scientology rather than that stupid Q conspiracy.
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09-24-2020 09:05
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it wrong to write, "He owed me $50" in the funeral guest book?
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04-07-2021 06:59
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My wife thinks I’m crazy. But I’m not the one who married me.
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10-26-2021 10:56
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