Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4620 of 6446

Just wanna do something crazy right now, like run naked through the sprinklers, or vote for Obama!
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11-29-2011 10:21
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50% of Students get a job after college? Oh wait if you voted for Obama you didn't go to college....my bad

living vicariously through herself.
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06-30-2008 17:51
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He said " I dont know why you were a bra, you have nothing to put in it." She says "Well you wear pants dont you?"
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01-04-2010 21:58
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why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella... --fo drizzle!
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01-15-2010 18:45
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I feel confident that Laim Neeson would be there for me if I listed him as my emergency contact.
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11-02-2012 22:18 by BEGO
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I hate when I'm at a restaurant, and they ask me, "Would you like a table?" , "No not all all, I came here to eat on the floor B!@tch!!!"....."Carpet for 3 Please!
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09-08-2012 19:42 by jitney
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Duck Tales should be the replacement for Duck Dynasty-Huey, Dewy, and Louie only had one McQuack!
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12-20-2013 03:35 by Lil-David
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Searchers of the missing Malaysian plane have found the Wings, Mr & Mrs Wing say they don't know where the plane is though!
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03-15-2014 16:06
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♪ ♫ ♩♩ ♬ On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 relatives I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny updates, 9 "in relationship to single, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites
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12-12-2011 20:30 by melb
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I don't care what anyone says. MySpace is NOT dead. I just friended two hotties. Wilma and Betty. In ya face, suckas!
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04-25-2012 07:34 by Mickey
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Tim Tebow predicted Alabama's win at 3:16 this afternoon
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01-10-2012 00:05
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remember when cops really wanted to PROTECT and SERVE and teachers really wanted to EDUCATE children? I miss the 1800's
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02-25-2011 22:02 by Yojimbo
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I'd like to give a shout out to my probation officer!! Woot woot I passed My drug test
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04-30-2011 18:16
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A woman is suing Chuck E Cheese because it leads to "compulsive gambling". That is like suing Walmart for "compulsive uglyness".
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05-25-2011 01:27 by Brent
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And then God created the Middle East and said 'let there be terrorism and war'.
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06-19-2014 13:30
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The reason women ask so many questions is because they have an extra why chromosome.................

undressing your profile pic with his eyes and you look hot
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04-22-2008 22:43
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Got MLK?

His dad was Mexican, His mother Italian, Both were Jedi Masters..... He's, Old Bean Juan Cannoli. (lol, I'm not even sorry)
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08-17-2013 16:23 by snotty
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