Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4620 of 6384
And then God created the Middle East and said 'let there be terrorism and war'.
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06-19-2014 13:30
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The reason women ask so many questions is because they have an extra why chromosome.................
undressing your profile pic with his eyes and you look hot
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04-22-2008 22:43
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Will someone please tell Kamala that she doesn't have to sleep with her boss to get a promotion this time ?
Got MLK?
His dad was Mexican, His mother Italian, Both were Jedi Masters..... He's, Old Bean Juan Cannoli. (lol, I'm not even sorry)
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08-17-2013 16:23 by snotty
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What’s the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?
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03-18-2023 06:01
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Micheal J. Fox and Muhammad Ali met for the first time yesterday........ And yes,, They are Still shaking hands..
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01-24-2013 15:47 by snotty
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republican read the story of "robin hood" backwards...they want to steal from the poor & give to the rich
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09-26-2012 20:57 by Eddy
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Nobody cleans a house faster than a guy expecting to get laid.
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09-14-2012 00:02
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I'm voting for the first candidate that walks up to the podium in the next debate and does the "Vitameatavegamin" skit! HA!
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10-20-2012 16:27
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Im not saying dont trust the internet, I'm just saying that there is a huge discrepancy in the number of Ipads I won verse the number of Ipads I actually own
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05-01-2013 18:25
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I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan. Someone's going to be wrong.
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05-28-2013 01:09 by Zinc
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Baby, why would you pay $99 for a bra at Victoria's Secret when I can hold your ( . ) ( . ) all day for free.
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06-03-2013 05:02
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Rip: Slim Whitman
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06-19-2013 20:33
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"Kimye" calling their kid north west. in related news alicia keys naming her baby wherearemycar keys
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06-23-2013 20:15
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I'm sorry but after the 4th sneeze you are more likely to get a throat punch than a "bless you" from me... control that will ya
The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.
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08-18-2012 15:33
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Every time I seen an abandoned shoe on the highway it makes me sad that I’ve never partied that hard.
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03-22-2013 15:57
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C ondoms prevent minivans.
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01-27-2013 12:59
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