Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Hi ho hi ho, it's off to work I go, to bust my a$$ for very little cash, hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho

   thinks that if atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

   Yay NY!!! Now, if the gays could only legally smoke pot at their wedding...

   Duude girls don't poop. Period, they just dont!

   HAPPY HOT MAMA DAY... to all the MILFs out there! :)

   I don't think an athiest has the right to listen to "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey!! Go listen to "Nothing Happens When You Die" and whine on your message boards!!

   Dear you people. Why are you crying about the Home Alone 2 cut which was done in 2014???? Are you people really proud of being stupid?

   Experts say Donald Trump has suffered the worst week of his political career until next week.

   Dear Santa .all I want for Xmas is ur naughty list.

   EDGE ▂ ▃ ▅ ▆ █

   My ex girlfriend auditioned for American idol. She said if she got through, she would be on "Cloud 9". I told her she was more suited for "Destrict 9"

   wants you to know that if a jelly fish ever stung you, I'd pee on you!

   I like my women like I like my coffee...hot and bitter!

   If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress?

   Crappy Ending (n): When a 45-minute massage ends with a police investigation.

   Lady Gaga preaching abstinence is like Lindsay Lohan preaching sobriety or Kermit the Frog preaching about your finger not smelling like pork.

   With a tv rating of 31.6 million. Average yard per pass was 31.6 yards and total yards was 316. Id say tebow is on to something. Dont believe those stats. Look it up.....

   I think the guy that misspelled "Ghost" actually wanted to write "Goat's soap"

   You never realize what you have till it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

   This valentines I'm getting my gf a dozen marijuana plants,better then roses right.!!