Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Whoever's in charge of telling old men when they have weird, long hairs growing out of their eyebrows/ears should be fired.

   heard some thunder yesterday & it wasn't even raining. I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that Stevie Nicks is full of crap.

   at this moment in time I could really punch someone in the face

   idiot noun \ˈi-dē-ət\ - One who disagrees with me

   has a perfect body, but it's in the trunk and starting to smell

   can't remember the last time I LOL'ed let alone ROTF.

   Kanye West calls Thanksgiving "You're Welcome Day."

   making a Thanksgiving mix Tape

   findining it increasingly difficuly to not say "Really? Since when?" whenever an atheist says "OMG!"

   being chased by the paparazzi

   Beepedy,beep beep....

   Come on, give me that booze you little pumpkin pie hair cutted freak.

   I bet if Einstein had Facebook to waste time with he wouldn't have been all like smart and stuff.

   In a world without walls and fences - who needs Windows and Gates?

   ¡¡¡ƃuılıǝɔ ƃuıʞɔ*ɟ ʎɯ ɟɟo ʇǝƃ `lǝuoıl ʎǝɥ

   ..crossword puzzles always remind her of her arguments with her exes. One word leads to another...

   If Facebook is running slower than my brain before breakfast, they should probably fix the problem asap.

   mutilating a Foreigner song, just to be an a$$. "He's a juice box hero, with straws in his eyes!"

   One of these days I'm going to run in to this Murphy dude who insists on making these messed up laws... and he's going to get knocked the F out!!!!

   It said in the paper 'Sex pest wanted by Police', I rang up to see what the hours were