Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4470 of 6446

hates being bi-polar. It's awesome.
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05-23-2011 23:43 by Teresa
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If I hear one more person saying the worlds going to end because of the Japan Earthquake...I'm going to pray from this day forward that God punches you in the face for your stupidity!!!!
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03-13-2011 13:38
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my husband said he wanted me to tease him, so I said "Alright, fatty." I guess that's not what he meant. :(

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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04-23-2010 15:30 by Aaron
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quotes, "Life's most urgent question is: what are you doing for others?" ~ Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

Heidi Montag + Micheal Jackson = Amy Winehouse.
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01-20-2010 12:52
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just received a coupon inthe mail: Buy one sock, get oneFREE! While socks last.

thinks Toyota should use pringles slogan: Once you start, you just can't stop
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02-21-2010 16:51
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You don't have to be good at anagrams to see that Pope Benedict is an Epic Bent Pedo.

life is like the Mets I just can't win
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09-18-2009 21:56
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The kids next door challenged me to a water fight . . . I'm just poisting this while I wait for the kettle to boil

Today is my Friday, but yesterday was not my Thursday, because that's Thanksgiving and we all know Thanksgiving is in two more days, and tomorrow is not my Saturday, it's just Wednesday. Yesterday was Monday, not just in my world, but everywhere. Don't kn
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11-23-2010 19:02 by jpgrw
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You take care of ME, I take care of YOU! - Mother Earth
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03-12-2011 05:13
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This weekend Skynet becomes self-aware and starts Judgement Day while Obama sleeps on the decision about turning it off. Meanwhile, the Terminator is running loose in California knocking-up anyone that gets in his way.
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05-18-2011 18:12
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These celebrity deaths happen in threes.... First Lil Wayne.... And we got Obama and Biden flying out of the country on Tuesday..... Cross your fingers guys.
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03-15-2013 20:50 by xiØn
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I remember 2012 like it was yesterday
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01-01-2013 09:13 by cpaman
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Pinocchio just gave a speech...
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11-23-2013 22:43 by EF
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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers And the middle one's for YOU.,
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04-24-2012 14:18
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Sex before marriage is one of the sins that Christians say 'no we'll let this one slide'
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07-06-2012 07:48
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Men are born between a woman's legs and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in between them, because there's no place like home.
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12-12-2011 03:26
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