Michek Funny Status Messages

   Wow, I've just noticed that almost all the girls on my Facebook are girls that I've tried to hook up with at one point or another. My Facebook has suddenly become one giant reminder of pure and utter failure. Well played Facebook, well played...

   Actually has a dai off tomorrow? Wow, it's been so long I can't even remember how to spell it

   To all of the guys who have creeped a girl out so much to the point of her never talking to you again, I just have one thing to say to you: Where do I sign up? 

   If only we cared for African humans as much as we cared for African lions.

   Thanks to Bo-flex, I've gone from 'obese' to 'prefer not to say' on my plenty of fish account!

   You know what infuriates me? Trying to grab the end of masking tape with my half chewed fingernails, after it has reattached itself to it's body. You know what infuriates me even more? Watching someone else do it.

   I'm taking the greed out of agreed, because I don't.

   Oh my god!! What is that enormous red gasious ball of fire in the sky that's making everyone take their clothes off???!?!?