Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
My Dad said if I get 1000 likes, my dog will come back to life! 
Why did they say Duchess Kate went into "labor?" The royals have never worked a day in their lives.
Anyone who calls someone else a bigot is bigot. Your also intolerant of his view. Dumb@ss.
Yesterday, the Dems got what they wanted! Then realized they didn’t get what they wanted. Trump played them. And I’m gonna get what I want in 2020...Trump re-elected!
Great! My girlfriend's period just came. My bloody Valentine.
Now, if we could only get some white smoke to come out of the White House's chimney.
wiping my ass with the Koran after taking the biggest dump of my life!
When are they going to do a myth busters episode on God?
I think Casey Anthony should be the new baby sitter for all the jurors' kids..
She wanted us to stop fighting and try to speak the same language... I said Mooooo
Spoiler alert: Han Solo DIES
Dear McDonald's cashier, don't give me that look. There's no age limit on a happy meal... and don't forget the toy.
became a fan of I wish I had never googled lemonparty.org
an escaped mental patient with a history of violence
The one thing that I can guarantee America will forget: That it was Britain's MI6 that pointed the America's CIA in the right direction. You're welcome by the way!
Tall girl & Short guy = Awkward. Tall girl & Tall guy = Cute. Short girl & Tall guy = Adorable. Short girl & Short guy = AWW.
way to "own the podium" Canada. At last count you have what, only 1/2 the medals as the USA!
How are we supposed to cure cancer when we can't even find a cure for country music.
" Fcuk the Police" ............ Please encourage this!! With the shift work we do protecting your sorry ass it's sometimes hard to meet women. So please encourage your sister and mother to continue your cause!!
aware of how pathetic you actually are! 