Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I'm not opposed to gay marriage.... I saw two women kissing in public the other day and I thought “man, that takes balls!”

   Wyclef Jean to run for President of Haiti. That would be cool. Then he could totally start a band called The ReFugees.

   Every since I bought this shake weight . I'm putting way too much salt on my food!!

   supports the rights of the Jedi to build a temple, but does it have to be two parsecs from the ruins of the Death Star?

   if you're good at something you just gotta put on your jogging shoes and run with it!!!

   With a name like "Earl," I'm more afraid this hurricane will get drunk and beat a pregnant woman, than I am that it will cause flooding.

   It's not that I don't like men..Its just that I think they should drink from separate water fountains..

   if you don't like your job, you don't strike...you just go in everyday and do it half-assed...THAT'S THE AMERICAN WAY!!

   I wish my laundry were more like me and do itself.

   3 roomates and the end of the toilet paper ALWAYS end on me.. WTF!!!!!

   May the mass times acceleration be with you.

   the Dread Pirate Roberts.

   It is beyond me why people would be camping outside in the cold weather waiting 7, 8 hours to go spend them money...SMH

   Don't you think it's time we stopped blaming our problems on people in our past and started blaming them on people in the future?

   Hang on sugar.... Daddys got a sweet tooth tongiht!!!

   Don't you just hate it when people think there clever but use the wrong grammar?

   Taking a test at school: My answer is Yes. If yes please explain...my answer is No

   The sex was getting really hot...until he pulled out his Yoda pillow...

   I never feel my day is complete, until one of my fb friends is having a worse day than I. Even if I have to be the cause of it.

   I beleive we should all pay our taxes with a smile. I tried................ but they wanted cash !