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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X is not mean. He/She just wasn't born with enough middle fingers to get his/her point across.
←Rate | 08-22-2010 12:01 by Shocker Comments (0)

X ex girlfriend just told me that my immaturity erected a barrier between us...I have no idea what she's talking about, but its so funny that she said erected.
←Rate | 08-22-2010 11:37 by Doc Noland Comments (1)

X says Wake and Bake, that's the only way to enjoy a Sunday.
←Rate | 08-22-2010 10:29 Comments (0)

X Has been watching your whole life ................. so don't even think about it !
←Rate | 08-22-2010 09:27 by Logan Comments (1)

X is cab companies, do you want to make the experience more enjoyable for your customers? Please install Glade air fresheners with a spray frequency of 5 seconds. Its unfair that we should pay to endure Parapithecus's BO.
←Rate | 08-22-2010 08:19 Comments (3)

X says This day has been pointless… Kinda like Halle Berry topless in ‘Swordfish'….. Pointless!
←Rate | 08-22-2010 03:57 by BJLW Comments (1)

X is i hate when I drive behind someone at the mall and they just walk to their car sit inside put in on reverse and never pull out untill I drive off
←Rate | 08-22-2010 02:58 Comments (0)

X is Every since I bought this shake weight . I'm putting way too much salt on my food!!
←Rate | 08-22-2010 01:26 by Jeff Comments (0)

X I'm embarrassed that I can't last very long when using the Shake Weight.
←Rate | 08-22-2010 00:36 by Aaron Comments (1)

X says, When Ronald Reagen was president we had Bob Hope and Johnny Cash. Now it's ONLY Obama with NO Hope and NO Cash.....!!!!
←Rate | 08-22-2010 00:01 Comments (8)

X was aww, I feel really bad, I was sitting in the club havn a drink with some friends and a random girl tried chatting me up, all I said to her was ''would you like some face with your make up''....haha was funny though! Oi cake face!! Haha
←Rate | 08-21-2010 22:55 Comments (0)

X is is thinkin'....Hey Charmin...I'm not a family and I DON'T get toilet paper stuck on our butts when we wipe....can you PLEASE think of a new ad campaign.... No. For Real. This one sucks...and it's starting to make me boycott EVER buying Charmin.
←Rate | 08-21-2010 21:35 Comments (1)

X thinkin'....HEY! Guy on the Orajel commercial...Orajel is not to be substitued for seeing an 'actual' dentist....if your tooth is achin' for that long... it's probably rotting out of your mouth...and you might need to get that checked out....
←Rate | 08-21-2010 21:34 Comments (1)

X If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.
←Rate | 08-21-2010 20:37 Comments (3)

X Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
←Rate | 08-21-2010 20:33 Comments (0)

X how selfish are my neighbours to have a pin number on thier wifi.....rude that's what I call it!
←Rate | 08-21-2010 20:13 Comments (0)

X is Dear My Head, Please start doing your job and kindly remove yourself from My Ass. And while ur down there please tell my liver I'm sorry. Thank you.
←Rate | 08-21-2010 20:09 by LMM Comments (3)

X Besides the fact that random people are bursting into flames walking down the street, It's beautiful outside!
←Rate | 08-21-2010 18:05 by geez Comments (0)

X says I'm right 97% of the why does my wife always find fault with the other 4% ?
←Rate | 08-21-2010 17:46 by Jeff Comments (14)

X already has 99 problems... and ur becoming the 100th one
←Rate | 08-21-2010 16:52 by Asif A. Marwat Comments (0)

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