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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X says Sometimes its ok to lie, these are referred to as little white lies. Or at least its better than telling ur girl about that one night you went to the strip club and.....
←Rate | 04-24-2010 15:19 by Mario Comments (0)

X says It's better to have loved and lost.........than to have stayed with the witch.
←Rate | 04-24-2010 15:10 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)

X What is it with Facebook games like Mafia and Farmville. I guess people need to balance their murder and violence with beets and little lost sheep.
←Rate | 04-24-2010 14:55 by lemonpillow Comments (0)

X On FB I took "How Many Sexual Partners You Have in 2009/2010" quiz. Result:"None, because your lame a*s spends too much time taking douchey a*s surveys on Facebook when you should probably be at the bar looking for women who leave their drinks unattended
←Rate | 04-24-2010 14:52 Comments (0)

X is Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
←Rate | 04-24-2010 14:17 Comments (0)

X is Do you remember the day we travelled in a car? I put my dog out of the window, you put ur face out, then people started shouting 'TWINS TWINS'
←Rate | 04-24-2010 14:04 Comments (0)

X is i was having lunch with a chess champion the other day.I knew he was a champion coz it took him 20 mins to just pass the salt.
←Rate | 04-24-2010 14:03 Comments (0)

X When you dial somebody on a Google phone, is there an "I'm Feeling Lucky" button? That would be great for single people.
←Rate | 04-24-2010 13:54 Comments (0)

X is A man is the head of the family and the wife is the neck. The neck turns the head exactly the way it wants.
←Rate | 04-24-2010 13:43 Comments (0)

X How do deaf people know if someone is screaming or yawning?
←Rate | 04-24-2010 13:39 by lemonpillow Comments (0)

X Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
←Rate | 04-24-2010 13:24 by lemonpillow Comments (0)

X says facebook is having its epic fail at this very moment!
←Rate | 04-24-2010 13:18 Comments (0)

X Getting married is similar to going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
←Rate | 04-24-2010 13:13 by lemonpillow Comments (0)

X I have a six pack which I wanna show off at the beach this summer it was too blady long in the fridge.
←Rate | 04-24-2010 12:49 by Joser Comments (0)

X working, and having short Facebook breaks... but is now on Facebook with short work breaks... much more fun!
←Rate | 04-24-2010 12:48 by Joser Comments (0)

X My gf says I never listen to her (or something like that)
←Rate | 04-24-2010 12:44 by Joser Comments (0)

X if i'd have killed her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
←Rate | 04-24-2010 12:06 Comments (0)

X After hearing someone just ramble on and on on the phone or in person, don't you just wish they would become verbally impotent?
←Rate | 04-24-2010 11:48 by Leeferd Comments (0)

X thinks she settled the argument over whether you refer to a carbonated beverage as "soda, pop, or Coke"'s "chaser!"
←Rate | 04-24-2010 11:42 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)

X is I was in the nany for about 40 minutes until they kicked me out. Turns out the poop deck isn't what I thought it was. Man were they angry.
←Rate | 04-24-2010 11:24 by JeremyCakes Comments (1)

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