Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X So what America didnt win the world cup..We still got "Two Girls One Cup"....
X is not Danny Phantom but if a girl says she is pregnant then he is going ghost
X Summer weather; it's not the heat, its the stupidity...
X If your relationship is so complicated that you have to identify it as such on Facebook, you should probably get the hell off Facebook and go fix it.
X thinks that if at first you don't succeed, you should pray that your future Honor Roll student takes care of you.
X In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
X Has anyone invented exploding vuvuzelas yet? (Please don't steal my idea.)
X For sale: A horse. Will consider trade for a kingdom.
X is Some T.V celebs are jumping on the Sarar Palin bandwagon. Jay Leno, David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel
X is I met the most hardcore vegetarian ever. She was also a lesbian..
X A smoking section in a restaurant is like a peeing section in a swimming pool...
X is Just woke up from a colonoscopy with my smock on backwards, Barry White music playing in the background and my doctor with his feet kicked up smoking a cigarette and told me everything went just fine…
X says Yeah, let me get this right, a guy name Samson gets his super strength from his hair? Is this what rational people actually believe? Sounds like a bad hollywood movie idea with Michael Bay production values.
X I asked my son if he could name the capital of Florida, he fired right back, "capital F!
X stayed up half the night waiting for this special lunar eclipse everyone was all excited about...only to find out it was some silly movie. Now I'm tired too...
X Never looking back doesn't make you an optimist, lady, it makes you a horrible driver.
X The dog keeps licking his butt and staring at me. I don't feel bad for him though. I tried to give him toilet paper and he ate it.
X I wouldn't mind all the diving and faking in soccer if, at random times during each game, a trapdoor opened to a pit of hungry crocodiles.
X It's simply way too hot today for me to believe global warming is real.
X I'm starting to get a bit worried that Canada isn't going to win the World Cup this year.