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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X says owns youtube, facebook, gmail, messenger and microsoft office. Now will you go out with me?
←Rate | 05-04-2010 16:36 Comments (0)

X must be the only one that has no idea wth a bieber is...the news is constantly giving alerts "just in..." Should I be frightened?!
←Rate | 05-04-2010 16:17 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)

X is tall people get tired of you askin them to reach stuff on store top shelves, imagine askin midgets to opick yur change up off the floor at the register when dropped?
←Rate | 05-04-2010 16:08 by Comments (0)

X is wonders if Vancouver city cab drivers are prepared for Chicago Blackhawk Patrick kane's arrival.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 14:46 Comments (0)

X says it looks like my 401k took in the rear by some greeks
←Rate | 05-04-2010 14:17 Comments (0)

X Pat Robertson is now blaming the oil spill in The Gulf of Mexico on promiscuous dinosaurs.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 14:03 by jdpower Comments (0)

X Paddy and Murphy walking down the road when Paddy finds a mirror He looks at it and says, "I'm sure I've seen this man before!" and then passes it to Murphy. Murphy then says, "You stupid idiot! That's me!"
←Rate | 05-04-2010 13:55 by lemonpillow Comments (0)

X When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness
←Rate | 05-04-2010 13:53 by djmerc Comments (0)

X says give Tiger and Jesse a break. Obama is screwing the whole country
←Rate | 05-04-2010 13:22 Comments (0)

X Dear Terrorist, I don't get why you kill people in the name of God. If God wanted to take someone's life, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be asking for your help.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 13:14 by Danmanz Comments (0)

X says life is short. have a ball, better yet have two
←Rate | 05-04-2010 13:13 by sammy g Comments (0)

X says In these times, when a celebrity cheats on his wife with multiple women, he gets criticized and exploited everywhere. Back in the founding father days, a man cheats and his face ends up on the 1, 5, 10, 20, 50, and 100 dollar bill.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 13:12 by Danmanz Comments (0)

X how many tweets could tweetybird tweet if tweetybird could tweet tweets
←Rate | 05-04-2010 12:46 Comments (0)

X is was thinking, if lesbians use vibrators......isn't that cheating?
←Rate | 05-04-2010 11:43 by who cares Comments (0)

X says would it be cruel to kidnap a man and keep him for purely sexual reasons?
←Rate | 05-04-2010 11:39 Comments (0)

X is would if be cruel to kidnap a man and keep him for purely sexual reasons?
←Rate | 05-04-2010 11:37 Comments (3)

X is cream sandwiches....i feel like such a tool though after chasing the ice cream truck screaming "wait, ice cream man"!
←Rate | 05-04-2010 11:31 Comments (0)

X giggles everytime I see a "no shoes, no shirt, no service" sign. I am guessing that they don't care if you come in bare a$$ed?
←Rate | 05-04-2010 10:36 by QueenBee404 Comments (0)

X May the 4th be with you...but I need a Fifth.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 10:15 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)

X has been temporarily disconnected from AT&T...and my iPhone...where in the hell am I?!
←Rate | 05-04-2010 08:58 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)

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