Funny Status Messages | Status Message Generator | Recent Comments | Chuck Norris Sayings

Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
Oldest | Recent | Rating
Filter On | Filter Off
Search Messages:
Page: 4312 of 4790

X Never end a sentence with a preposition. Incorrect: Thongs crack me up. Correct: Thongs up me crack.
←Rate | 05-25-2010 18:18 by Joser Comments (0)

X is If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
←Rate | 05-25-2010 17:20 by paulb808 Comments (0)

X is T-Pain, 50 Cent,Drake, Nelly, Kanye West, LIL Wayne, Soulja Boy and numerous rappers from down south, you are all wanted for the murder of HIP HOP, HIP HOP was last seen in the late 90's and has disapeared since.
←Rate | 05-25-2010 16:24 by mhenry Comments (3)

X is Waiting 4 the day when 1 of the tri-nations lands(new zealand,australia and south africa)figures out how 2 play american football.then we'll own that sh!t 2.just as we did with england and their rugby lmao.
←Rate | 05-25-2010 16:20 Comments (0)

X I explained to the doctor, "Whenever I harvest our cornfields, I get a really bad headache." "It's a migraine," he explained. "No, it's not, it's mine - and why the hell have you started speaking Italian?"
←Rate | 05-25-2010 15:58 by lemonpillow Comments (0)

X Warning: condoms aren't 100% protective. Her friend was wearing one and he got run over by a bus.
←Rate | 05-25-2010 14:39 Comments (0)

X has just seen a dude so ugly, that he look like a rough draft. Dude needs to be proofread and corrections MUST be made... Everythang is wrong... fragments, run-on sentences... damn
←Rate | 05-25-2010 14:34 by Raizo Comments (0)

X Somebody called me a metrosexual today. What is that like a local term or something? Anyway I'm sitting there getting a pedicure reading Vogue..
←Rate | 05-25-2010 13:34 Comments (0)

X is Who here thinks Kesha's your love is my drug the starting beat of it is like love game by Lady gaga
←Rate | 05-25-2010 13:32 by luka Comments (0)

X Remember a diamond was merely a lump a coal that did well under pressure..
←Rate | 05-25-2010 12:44 by Wolf Comments (0)

X says taking a mental vacation...Her body is here but her mind is gone somewhere tropical with lots of water, sunshine and a cold drink.
←Rate | 05-25-2010 12:15 Comments (0)

X says "You can lie to me but, Dont lie to Yourself"
←Rate | 05-25-2010 11:56 by TraVIs J Comments (0)

X says Making fun of Courtney Love is like shooting Heroin in a barrel.
←Rate | 05-25-2010 11:42 by Señor Frog Comments (0)

X says A man goes into a library and ask for a book on suicide....The librarian replies "F*ck off! you wont bring it back!"
←Rate | 05-25-2010 11:37 by Samir Momin Comments (0)

X is regrets to inform you that due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off
←Rate | 05-25-2010 10:36 by Comments (0)

X Facebook is changing their privacy settings again. As of tomorrow, Facebook will creep up behind you & give you an atomic wedgie. To change this option, go to Settings > Personal Settings > Sneaky Settings> Wedgie Settings & uncheck the Shenaniga
←Rate | 05-25-2010 10:26 by Sloppy Comments (0)

X I just read something so funny it made me spit coffee out my nose, which is odd because I wasn't drinking coffee at the time.
←Rate | 05-25-2010 10:20 by flinnie Comments (0)

X has come to realize that housework is a lot like shoveling the driveway while it's still snowing, come back 10 minutes later and it looks like you never did it....LOL
←Rate | 05-25-2010 08:19 by Brian Comments (0)

X saw a commercial for the United In Rock Tour (Styx, Foreigner, Kansas) and I thought to myself "I hope they don't play in Arizona...because Foreigner would be screwed."
←Rate | 05-25-2010 07:02 by Matthew Comments (0)

X says My maths teacher asked me what comes after 69? Apparently "I do" is not the correct answer,
←Rate | 05-25-2010 06:56 by l33t Comments (0)

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left