Funny Status Messages for Facebook

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X says My integrity is not for sale and won't be until it can fetch a better price.

X says By the time you can afford a high definition television you no longer have the high definition eyesight necessary to enjoy it.

X You know you're getting older when the candles cost more than the cake.

X says Homeless people are like the raccoons of metropolitan areas. Always coming out at night to route through your garbage can with their furry little faces and opposable thumbs.

X says I saw a jug of 2% milk. I'd actually prefer the whole thing be milk.

X says The international symbol for marriage is a white flag.

X Nice guys finish.... In the shower

X is driving the Hummer on Earth Day!!

X says first you want same sex marriage, what's next...same sex divorce

X Conserve water on earth day, drink more beer....

X Everytime she logs onto facebook she feels like she's reading people's diaries. Facebook should change its name to Dear Diary!!!

X F*ck Earth Day. I used to be a planet too. - Pluto

X but officer, the sign says "no shirt, no shoe, no service"...is says NOTHING about pants!

X Some people get so upset when you delete them from your fb friends list. What is the big deal it's not like we're real friends and hang out everyday.

X says If you cant dazzle them with your brillance, baffle them with your bull sh!t

X says The best two kinds of beer in this world are....Cold & Free..

X is at work, online researching how to be more productive at work

X says Happy Earth Day!! Time to plant all the greens burned 2 days ago.....

X is wishing everyone a "Happy Earth Day", and is reminding you to keep our planet clean, it's not Uranis..

X Earth Day - Keeping Earth cleaning than Uranus...