Funny Status Messages | Status Message Generator | Recent Comments | Chuck Norris Sayings

Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
Oldest | Recent | Rating
Filter On | Filter Off
Search Messages:
Page: 4312 of 4951

X says 95% of People who say, "Study! Study! Study!" during finals week are actually reading...Too bad they don't realize Facebook is not actually a book.....
←Rate | 07-25-2010 23:17 by BEGO Comments (0)

X says If it is zero degrees outside today and it is supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
←Rate | 07-25-2010 23:06 Comments (0)

X says Lohan who? I cant believe the news coverage being given to a spoiled 20-something yr old. Here are a few 20 yr-olds worth knowing about: Justin Allen 23, Brett Linley 29, Justus Bartett 27, This week they gave their lives serving out Country
←Rate | 07-25-2010 23:05 by widowandmotherof2 Comments (9)

X says You're so fake, Barbie is jealous
←Rate | 07-25-2010 22:55 by BEGO Comments (0)

X says Some people would not be born if alcohol was never invented.
←Rate | 07-25-2010 22:48 by BEGO Comments (0)

X For Mel Gibson, how does every black joke start? By looking over his shoulder
←Rate | 07-25-2010 20:58 Comments (0)

X I can't afford the shakeweight, but I wish there was another activity that I can apply the principles to...
←Rate | 07-25-2010 20:00 by geez Comments (0)

X says A bread factory burned down over the weekend. No one was injured however the place is toast.
←Rate | 07-25-2010 19:50 Comments (0)

X says I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy
←Rate | 07-25-2010 18:33 Comments (0)

X says if at first you don't succeed, call it version 1
←Rate | 07-25-2010 18:28 Comments (0)

X is sometimes I feel like I'm fly tape for assholes
←Rate | 07-25-2010 17:39 by cinderoo Comments (0)

X I could never stay mad at you" actually means "cross me & I will drop you like an AT&T call."
←Rate | 07-25-2010 17:02 Comments (0)

X is pole dancin on a numba 2 pencil... IT'S FRIDAY!!!
←Rate | 07-25-2010 16:56 Comments (0)

X Easy Bake Oven - Teaching women their place for over 50 years
←Rate | 07-25-2010 16:33 Comments (0)

X says those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight.
←Rate | 07-25-2010 13:32 Comments (0)

X says teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool.
←Rate | 07-25-2010 13:20 Comments (1)

X Wondering if in the future, robots will have a dance called the human.
←Rate | 07-25-2010 12:15 by Joser Comments (0)

X Rick Astley asked me if he could borrow my collection of Pixar films."Okay," I said. "You can have Toy Story, Cars and Finding Nemo but I'm never gonna give you Up."
←Rate | 07-25-2010 10:22 by lemonpillow Comments (0)

X Now that the well is capped, legal experts say criminal charges are likely to be filed over the Gulf oil spill. This means a BP executive could wind up in jail. Prison can be rough so I've got three words of advice: British. Petroleum. Jelly.
←Rate | 07-25-2010 10:05 by lemonpillow Comments (0)

X I wouldn't need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat.
←Rate | 07-25-2010 10:01 by lemonpillow Comments (1)

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left