Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon wondering why so many people spend money they don't have to buy stuff they don't need to impress people they don't like !
←Rate | 02-05-2011 04:50 by Cole Comments (0)  

   messageicon ‎'Valentines day is soo over hyped...'-Every single person...:P
←Rate | 02-05-2011 03:54 by johnny Comments (0)  

   messageicon why only VALENTINES DAY for the 1 you love the most..why it can't be 24/7, 365 days a year !!
←Rate | 02-05-2011 01:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am most like a mushroom. I am a fungi!
←Rate | 02-05-2011 01:50 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can't we all just get abong?
←Rate | 02-05-2011 00:52 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Win of the day! I got pulled over by a state trooper for doing 65 in a 40. When he asked why I was going so fast I told him " I need a bathroom, I feel like I'm going to sh!t myself." he laughed so hard he let me go! No b.s.
←Rate | 02-05-2011 00:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate these frozen TV dinners that gotta make things so complicated. Lets see... microwave on medium for 4 minutes then stir potatoes.... Stir potatoes???? Do I look like Wolfgang Puck?
←Rate | 02-05-2011 00:43 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Sometimes love comes like a dream and leaves like a nightmare.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 23:51 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Go ahead, tell us everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 23:34 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  

   messageicon why does snoop dog carry an umbrella? FO DRIZZLE.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 21:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If she's the best I've ever had, then she's the best I've had yet.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 21:33 by iamthechampion Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Weed is illegal" - "Yeah, so is half the music on your ipod."
←Rate | 02-04-2011 21:22 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  

   messageicon having more ups and downs than a hookers panties today.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 21:22 by Ape Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every day I am forced to add another name to the list of people who piss me off.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 20:50 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just learned that Pop Tarts™ are NOT the breakfast of champions....I'm devastated!
←Rate | 02-04-2011 20:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon That awkward moment when you want to buy something, check the price and sadly, leave it there.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 19:30 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinking about how to integrate the lyrics "walk like an Egyptian" into another unique status update
←Rate | 02-04-2011 19:22 by levon Comments (0)  

   messageicon what do a pizza delivery guy and male gynecologist have in common? They can SMELL it, but they can't EAT it lol
←Rate | 02-04-2011 19:17 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girls dictionary: No = Yes , Maybe = No , We need = I want , We need to talk = I wanna compalin.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 19:07 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think facebook needs an "I've seen this before, but I still like it" button....
←Rate | 02-04-2011 18:57 by M.A.C. Comments (0)  

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