Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon You know your getting old when your wife/gf beats you in COD
←Rate | 02-13-2011 20:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything...
←Rate | 02-13-2011 20:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon A man's best chance of winning any argument with a woman is if he confines it entirely in his own mind.
←Rate | 02-13-2011 20:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey Lady Gaga- Way to add new lyrics to Madonna's Express Yourself.
←Rate | 02-13-2011 20:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering if cupid has a job opening??? I would LOVE to shoot people in the Ass and get away with it!!!!
←Rate | 02-13-2011 20:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This new Facebook friend viewer application so you can see your friends online is kind of weird. Its like they don't even know you can see them.
←Rate | 02-13-2011 20:21 by Rick H. Comments (0)  

   messageicon Friends don't tag friends in hideous Facebook pictures.
←Rate | 02-13-2011 20:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon You'll never truly know happiness until you've experienced great sorrow. How long is it suppose to take for the happiness part kick in?
←Rate | 02-13-2011 20:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you find someone who finally understands you, the world will go away.
←Rate | 02-13-2011 20:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife and I are doing the same thing for Valentine's Day that we do every year: Laughing at all the people who spend too much money!
←Rate | 02-13-2011 20:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My heart is in a relationship, but I am single - It's complicated.
←Rate | 02-13-2011 20:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your Facebook status says "Some people mistake us for whores" you're probably a whore
←Rate | 02-13-2011 19:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Note to self, don't introduce yourself to the new neighbors until they have all the heavy stuff moved in.
←Rate | 02-13-2011 19:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon at night all the people go to sleep and I talk to wall....REALLY FACEBOOK WALL
←Rate | 02-13-2011 18:06 by goharshah Comments (0)  

   messageicon Really struggling on what to get my girlfriend for Valentines Day. I mean, I'd hate to get her the same thing as her Husband does. That would be embarassing.
←Rate | 02-13-2011 18:00 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you really need to set aside one day a year to show your "love" then obviously that person doesn't mean much to you
←Rate | 02-13-2011 17:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon a valentines day nonbeliever!!!
←Rate | 02-13-2011 17:43 by Chicka who thinks vday is pointless Comments (0)  

   messageicon I get fewer Valentines than Christmas cards. ....I got one Christmas card
←Rate | 02-13-2011 17:28 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon Love is in the air..... Good thing I have my gas mask on xD
←Rate | 02-13-2011 17:14 by Sal Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just think, the one for you is walking the earth right now! Probably in a Wall-Mart somewhere!
←Rate | 02-13-2011 17:13 by Wolf Comments (0)  

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