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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X says My integrity is not for sale and won't be until it can fetch a better price.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 16:00 Comments (0)

X says By the time you can afford a high definition television you no longer have the high definition eyesight necessary to enjoy it.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 15:59 Comments (0)

X You know you're getting older when the candles cost more than the cake.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 15:59 by lemonpillow Comments (0)

X says Homeless people are like the raccoons of metropolitan areas. Always coming out at night to route through your garbage can with their furry little faces and opposable thumbs.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 15:57 Comments (0)

X says I saw a jug of 2% milk. I'd actually prefer the whole thing be milk.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 15:55 Comments (0)

X says The international symbol for marriage is a white flag.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 15:42 by cj Comments (0)

X Nice guys finish.... In the shower
←Rate | 04-22-2010 14:36 Comments (0)

X is driving the Hummer on Earth Day!!
←Rate | 04-22-2010 14:27 Comments (0)

X says first you want same sex marriage, what's next...same sex divorce
←Rate | 04-22-2010 13:45 by one Comments (0)

X Conserve water on earth day, drink more beer....
←Rate | 04-22-2010 13:30 by Joser Comments (0)

X Everytime she logs onto facebook she feels like she's reading people's diaries. Facebook should change its name to Dear Diary!!!
←Rate | 04-22-2010 13:25 Comments (0)

X F*ck Earth Day. I used to be a planet too. - Pluto
←Rate | 04-22-2010 13:09 by Joser Comments (2)

X but officer, the sign says "no shirt, no shoe, no service" says NOTHING about pants!
←Rate | 04-22-2010 12:52 Comments (0)

X Some people get so upset when you delete them from your fb friends list. What is the big deal it's not like we're real friends and hang out everyday.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 12:47 by AT Comments (0)

X says If you cant dazzle them with your brillance, baffle them with your bull sh!t
←Rate | 04-22-2010 12:36 Comments (0)

X says The best two kinds of beer in this world are....Cold & Free..
←Rate | 04-22-2010 12:23 Comments (0)

X is at work, online researching how to be more productive at work
←Rate | 04-22-2010 11:25 by one Comments (0)

X says Happy Earth Day!! Time to plant all the greens burned 2 days ago.....
←Rate | 04-22-2010 10:56 by Dee Comments (0)

X is wishing everyone a "Happy Earth Day", and is reminding you to keep our planet clean, it's not Uranis..
←Rate | 04-22-2010 10:53 by dfotravels Comments (0)

X Earth Day - Keeping Earth cleaning than Uranus...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 10:37 by geez Comments (0)

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