Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon there a video feed in my bedroom that I don't know about? All these people talking about "He is risen" are making me suspicious this morning...
←Rate | 04-24-2011 11:38 by kauffman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you read this, I'm SMART. If you like this, you agree that I'm SMART. If you copy and paste this, you are spreading that I'm SMART & if you don't like this, you are jealous coz I'm SMART!
←Rate | 04-24-2011 11:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon CONSEQUENCES OF TODAY'S MODERN LIFE STYLES: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Your kids and my kids are beating our kids!
←Rate | 04-24-2011 11:29 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Haven't been to church in a couple years, sure hope I don't catch on fire........
←Rate | 04-24-2011 11:27 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever die because of marijuana, mark on my grave, “I am too stoned to get up!”
←Rate | 04-24-2011 11:27 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon going rabbit hunting
←Rate | 04-24-2011 11:25 by mr beers Comments (0)  


   messageicon Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 11:24 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never judge a girl by her makeup!
←Rate | 04-24-2011 11:21 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am risen today too... if it lasts for more than 4 hours, I need to go to the ER though.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 11:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to bury my huevos every day, not just today
←Rate | 04-24-2011 11:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♫Just let your soooouuuuul glow baby, feeling oh so silky smooth. Just let it shine through yeah. Just let your soooouuuul glow oooo....(Soul glow) ♫
←Rate | 04-24-2011 10:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cooking up some hasenpfeffer. Thanks Easter Bunny, bawk bawk.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 10:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I'd have been in Jerusalem when Jesus had risen from his tomb, I'm pretty sure I'd have been the only idiot to poke him with a stick and yell out "The Zombie apocalypse has begun!"
←Rate | 04-24-2011 10:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I bite the ears off of a chocolate bunny only to find out it's hollow, I feel ripped off.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 10:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay ladies, here is the deal, we will stop talking about masturbation if you stop talking about your period. Fair trade.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 10:01 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Easter to all of my Chicks and Peeps!
←Rate | 04-24-2011 10:00 by robs0776 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Painting beer cans for later.... Happy Easter!
←Rate | 04-24-2011 10:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do more drinking before 9:00 am than most people do all day.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 09:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Easter Yolks!
←Rate | 04-24-2011 09:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I dont see you this Easter, Hide your own balls
←Rate | 04-24-2011 08:54 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


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