Funny Status Messages for Facebook

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X says i raised myself, Happy Father's Day to me

X says Don't EVER fight for someone who wouldn't damn fight for you.

X is still waiting for the latest Toy Story movie to come out... Its called Adult Toy Story. It gives a totally new meaning to "Buzz" and "Woody".

X is mad because the government took away my Weapon of Mass Destruction.

X says that the word "studying" comes from the words "students dying".

X hit a parked car while texting. Even sadder, I was WALKING.

X is I just noticed that all the girls I've ever been with all had one major thing in common.. 10's become 2's on day 2."

X People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world"

X says Ha.....and the neighbors think THEY can be loud???? They haven't been formally introduced to me and Jack Daniels yet.

X is I dont trust pregnant people. I have a feeling they're hiding something....

X was asked "what do you like to see most in a woman" I answered "the top of her head"

X Now I know exactly why Australians have their own version of " Australian rules football" !!!

X is This is a full blown Four Alarm fishing season emergency here. All thats left is to press on and have the hap... hap... happiest fishing trip since Bing Crosby Tap danced with Danny Frikin Kay.

X The last German who did THAT well on African soil was Rommel.

X Why has "Just between you and I," never really just between you and I?

X says When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

X is making deposits into her buzz account...

X says America is at war with al qaeda, but we're still losing the war against Al Sharpton!

X says people were fooled by Obama's "change you can believe in" Now it's time for the Tea Party Conservatives "Change believes in you" 2012 - It will happen!!!

X is wondering why the phrase, "I`m not being rude" must always be followed by "but" ?