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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X says There's a reason why the word semen falls smack dab in the middle of amusement!
←Rate | 07-08-2010 12:13 by Rockit Comments (0)

X Before you send me any sick jokes about that murderer in the North East don't bother. It's not even rauolmoatly funny.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 11:42 by @clarkysj Comments (0)

X says Team Edward? Team Jacob? How about Team pussies!
←Rate | 07-08-2010 10:34 Comments (0)

X Feels like kicking butt today - take a number and get in line
←Rate | 07-08-2010 10:30 Comments (0)

X I am a good listener, just ask my TV.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 10:19 by Mike Comments (1)

X T- ake you to a place where true R- esonance is all you can feel A-nd hear, while N-egating that stress that C- aptures you, me ...and E- veryone
←Rate | 07-08-2010 09:31 by SAM RABEE Comments (0)

X says You know it's gonna be a long day when you're at DD drive-thru, getting aggrevated that it's taking so long for some to take your order, only to realize that you're waiting in front of the trash barrel..
←Rate | 07-08-2010 09:26 Comments (0)

X says that serial killer Raoul Moat has shot and killed 3 people now, One more kill and he'll get a care package, then we're really f**ked.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 08:28 Comments (0)

X is does not care where LeBron is going
←Rate | 07-08-2010 07:27 by Michelle Comments (0)

X says you better like this status or I'll post a old picture of you and really get some laughs
←Rate | 07-08-2010 07:21 by L Comments (0)

X says Expired milk in my fridge: Do I throw it out or wait until it's delicious cheese?
←Rate | 07-08-2010 05:04 Comments (0)

X says Why was the spork necessary? Thoughts?
←Rate | 07-08-2010 05:03 Comments (0)

X says Six different television shows about cake and not a single one about milk. I sense opportunity!
←Rate | 07-08-2010 05:02 Comments (0)

X says May is National Procrastination Awareness Month.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 05:02 Comments (2)

X says I am definitely not a morning person. Unfortunately, my daughter is....and she hates the taste of NyQuil.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 05:01 Comments (0)

X says I always poop on a regular basis, so I'm not sure what this "Activia Challenge" is going to accomplish. It could unleash horrors the likes of which mankind has never witnessed. See you on the other side...
←Rate | 07-08-2010 05:00 Comments (0)

X says Lindsay Lohan has taken to writing on her nails which can mean only one thing. She's hopeing to be Sarah Palin's running mate.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 04:07 Comments (1)

X You have enemies? Good, that means you stood up for something.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 03:10 by SAM RABEE Comments (0)

X says Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
←Rate | 07-08-2010 03:08 Comments (0)

X says the only thing women truely love is making their friends jealous
←Rate | 07-08-2010 02:57 by Justin Cyder Comments (0)

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