Funny Status Messages | Status Message Generator | Recent Comments | Chuck Norris Sayings

Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
Oldest | Recent | Rating
Filter On | Filter Off
Search Messages:
Page: 4312 of 4809

X is Why don't blind men skydive?...........Because it scares the sh*t out of the dog.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 06:35 by @clarkysj Comments (0)


X Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 02:21 by lemonpillow Comments (0)


X is has heard that Toyota's new 2011 Camry will be so advanced it recalls itself.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 23:52 Comments (0)


X The one person that BP has not called on to fix the oil leak is MacGyver. he can do it with a stick of gum a Q-tip and some tin foil!!!
←Rate | 06-02-2010 23:37 Comments (0)




X BP wants Twitter to shut down a fake account mocking the oil company. Twitter wants BP to shut down the oil leak that's ruining the ocean.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 23:32 Comments (0)


X HECK is where you go if you don't believe in GOSH
←Rate | 06-02-2010 22:58 by Joser Comments (0)


X LIFE; It's one damned thing after another
←Rate | 06-02-2010 22:58 by Joser Comments (0)


X I don't mind going to work. It's that 8 hour wait to go home that sucks!
←Rate | 06-02-2010 22:57 by Joser Comments (0)


X To save time, lets just assume I'm NEVER wrong!
←Rate | 06-02-2010 22:56 by Joser Comments (0)


X If your not barefoot, you're overdressed...
←Rate | 06-02-2010 22:55 by Joser Comments (0)


X you know your getting older when your underwear creeps up on you... and you kinda enjoy it...
←Rate | 06-02-2010 22:54 Comments (0)


X is wondering how the Gore's will split the internet in their divorce.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 21:44 Comments (0)


X is This girl tells me "you only call me when your bored "ughhh.... duhh!! why would I call you when i'm busy?!?
←Rate | 06-02-2010 21:02 by @Datzhow_eezi Comments (0)


X says Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?
←Rate | 06-02-2010 21:01 by BEGO Comments (0)


X After Al Gore gets divorced, his wife will receive 40 percent of his ego, his ignorance, and the Internet.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 20:09 by tomcall Comments (0)


X there are two types of people in this world, pizza roll people and bagel bites people
←Rate | 06-02-2010 19:48 by Joser Comments (0)


X Facebook is doing maintenance on my account. I hope that means they're airbrushing my profile pics!
←Rate | 06-02-2010 19:48 by Joser Comments (0)


X is Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I die before I wake. Then this will be my last status update
←Rate | 06-02-2010 19:42 by Grapes Comments (0)


X says I'd be more willing to cuddle with my Wife after sex if she'd be more willing to high-five after sex.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 19:03 Comments (0)


X says I'd be more willing to cuddle with my Wife after sex if she'd be more willing to high-five after sex.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 19:02 Comments (0)


Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left