Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X ...and thats when George Washington shot Hitler in the head.
X is Cinco de mayo is the celebration of Mexico kicking the repo mans(France) a$$ who they owed money to and winning! It's true look it up!
X is Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
X is I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, sh!t on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me B!tch." I don't own a hamster.
X is just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
X is I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great a$$ and a trust fund.
X Mythbuster: Homophones were not invented by Alexander Graham Bell's flowery nephew.
X Few people know this but Cinco de Mayo is actually about a ship full of mayonnaise that sank off the coast of Mexico.
X is If at first you don't succeed, mabey sky diving wasn't meant for you.
X is I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
X is so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
X a paper cut is a trees last revenge =)
X is Just watched "fourth kind", I think I need to go to church!
X is I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
X is would like to remind everyone to Wang Chung tonight.
X Lady luck is a wench. She only shows up when your winning.
X is a female friend of mine is taking self defense class - they told her not to yell "Help" when being attacked - you are supposed to yell "Fire". I said, "what if the attacker is holding a gun?"
X says "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." George W. Bush
X is I Want some Coke so I can have fun 2night at home
X You know what would make this Vodka & cranberry better? The Bahamas.