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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X says i raised myself, Happy Father's Day to me
←Rate | 06-13-2010 23:09 Comments (0)

X says Don't EVER fight for someone who wouldn't damn fight for you.
←Rate | 06-13-2010 23:04 by BEGO Comments (0)

X is still waiting for the latest Toy Story movie to come out... Its called Adult Toy Story. It gives a totally new meaning to "Buzz" and "Woody".
←Rate | 06-13-2010 20:34 Comments (0)

X is mad because the government took away my Weapon of Mass Destruction.
←Rate | 06-13-2010 20:17 Comments (0)

X says that the word "studying" comes from the words "students dying".
←Rate | 06-13-2010 20:16 Comments (0)

X hit a parked car while texting. Even sadder, I was WALKING.
←Rate | 06-13-2010 20:13 Comments (0)

X is I just noticed that all the girls I've ever been with all had one major thing in common.. 10's become 2's on day 2."
←Rate | 06-13-2010 19:46 by kenny Comments (0)

X People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world"
←Rate | 06-13-2010 19:32 Comments (0)

X says Ha.....and the neighbors think THEY can be loud???? They haven't been formally introduced to me and Jack Daniels yet.
←Rate | 06-13-2010 19:31 Comments (0)

X is I dont trust pregnant people. I have a feeling they're hiding something....
←Rate | 06-13-2010 19:12 Comments (0)

X was asked "what do you like to see most in a woman" I answered "the top of her head"
←Rate | 06-13-2010 18:23 Comments (0)

X Now I know exactly why Australians have their own version of " Australian rules football" !!!
←Rate | 06-13-2010 17:48 Comments (0)

X is This is a full blown Four Alarm fishing season emergency here. All thats left is to press on and have the hap... hap... happiest fishing trip since Bing Crosby Tap danced with Danny Frikin Kay.
←Rate | 06-13-2010 17:37 Comments (0)

X The last German who did THAT well on African soil was Rommel.
←Rate | 06-13-2010 16:45 by Wood Comments (0)

X Why has "Just between you and I," never really just between you and I?
←Rate | 06-13-2010 16:12 Comments (0)

X says When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
←Rate | 06-13-2010 16:08 Comments (0)

X is making deposits into her buzz account...
←Rate | 06-13-2010 16:04 Comments (0)

X says America is at war with al qaeda, but we're still losing the war against Al Sharpton!
←Rate | 06-13-2010 15:45 Comments (0)

X says people were fooled by Obama's "change you can believe in" Now it's time for the Tea Party Conservatives "Change believes in you" 2012 - It will happen!!!
←Rate | 06-13-2010 15:08 by NightBandit Comments (0)

X is wondering why the phrase, "I`m not being rude" must always be followed by "but" ?
←Rate | 06-13-2010 14:51 Comments (0)

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